advice re dh's work

[roband]

DH is always stressed at work and is studying part time for a masters (we are paying ourselves for this and it has been 4 years and still 18 months to go....

His job seems to be on a shaky peg (along with a bunch of others due to a relocation) but no-one has confirmed anything as yet. He has been casting around for stuff and has an interview this week for a post that would mean a £10k pay cut. I feel quite annoyed about this but can't put my finger really on why. I am annoyed he thinks we can just forego £10k (we can't). I am annoyed the company only thinks he is worth that. And I am annoyed he only thinks he is worth that! If he had been made redundant then that would be another matter and I would be shoving him right in there, but to just move to a £10k less PA job right now seems mental. It is not even his "dream job". As far as I can tell it would be the same crap for less money.

He is not an easy person to talk to and clams up whereas am a right chatterbox and like to talk things out. So how can I talk to him about this so he knows I think he is worth so much more and not just annoy him!? (PS i work part time and have a good salary)

You say that his job is stressful. Is he looking to cut that stress a bit by taking a job at a lower level?

Could he go part time to finish his masters and you go full time?

The thing is I don't think this job would mean that he could cut the stress any. Don't think I could go full time either as we don't have the opportunities at work at the moment for me to do that. And I know his current work would not let him change over - they are a fairly ruthless lot!

thanks for replying though and sorry I am being so neg!

I have have no doubt when he gets in he will be in a bad mood with me for moaning at him!!!

It depends on how bad the stress is. Health is always more important than money. But when you get to a certain level, stress goes with the territory. Despite what certain elements will have you think, in general the more you earn, the more companies tend to expect from you.

It also depends on what impact £10k has on you. If he was earning £100k, its not too bad. Make a few cuts here & there. If he's earning £20k and is proposing a £10k pay drop then that's a different story.

Unfortunately at the moment good jobs are like hens teeth. Employers are having their pick of employees at the moment. So chances are, they are not short of applicants so feel there's no need to offer more money.

As for how to approach him, I would suggest you try to discuss with him the sorts of things you'd have to forgo (eg. masters, no sky sports, smaller house perhaps, holidays etc) to offset the £10k drop. Rather than say "No way" which would inevitably lead to an argument.

If you approach it from the angle, let's see what we must do to live on £10k less, you may well find he realises that actually he doesn't like having to give that stuff up and would rather plod on in his job. Also don't forget to factor in tax credits (if applicable) as that may offset some of the drop in income.

Thanks Niceguy2. Never thought about tax credits actually. DH is a kind of glass hal empty type of person so he will always feel hard done to! He has not even had the interview for this job but I am worried that this is what he feels he is worth and he is not!!

He will be home soon so will try to cheer him up with a nice dinner!