how do you do it?

[pinniethewooh]

I am knackered. Breastfeeding on demand and my DC is four months, going through a growth spurt and the last few days has woken me up several times at night. It's making me very grumpy.

DH has been sleeping in the spare room since before the baby was born, firstly because he snores and now because he has to go to work.

I am absolutely fine about this arrangement (though I hope one day we can share a room again!) but I am starting to get stressed by the lack of help at the weekend.

DH gets a lie in on a Saturday (I caught him with ear-plugs in yesterday) and also isn't up early on a Sunday. Fair enough, he can't breast feed and I accept that but...

We don't have a bath/bed routine so DH doesn't take that on as a special role (when we do bath the baby we tend to do it together) and as DH leaves for work before I get up I do all the morning stuff with the baby. It seems that whenever he does take the baby it's only ever for a few minutes and he always brings him back to me if he cries and says 'he wants mummy'. It's getting right on my tits, I would like some time to myself where I am not doing housework. DH has a LOT of time to himself to mess about online etc

What's a 'normal' amount of time for DH to be spending helping with our baby? Do you have a fair split or should I just accept that while I am feeding like this I will be left with most of the childcare? Seriously, it's driving me a bit mad because it seems so unfair but I accept that Biology means I am left doing a lot of the care.

No, I don't think he does get it. Can you do some of the stuff on his list while he spends some time with ds? It would give you a bit of head space and he might learn to distract/comfort ds when he is grizzly.

By the way, could you try a dream feed when you go to bed? Might help. Definitely keep up the routine.

I feel like I am being dramatic but I wonder if I have a touch of baby blues. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed by the responsibility and I worry that my being grumpy is having a bad effect on my son. Some days seem to go so well and others I feel like I can't cope. Is this normal, just hormones and tiredness (as specially given that he's going through a growth spurt) or maybe something worse that I should talk to someone about? I remember feeling a bit like this in the very early days when I was really nackered which makes me think it may pass if I just got a good night's sleep.

RudeEnglishLady I'll make sure I take my vitamins, I have neglected that recently.