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Original poster

Should I apologies to FIL?

10 replies

LTJ7 · 17/04/2011 20:45

Hi, I'm after advice as to whether I should apologise to inlaws after having a go at DH in front of them. I was wrong to do so, and apologised to DH but he is absolutely furious with me. He spoke to his mother afterwards and she said she was upset and that his father is furious at the way I spoke to DH. I am really taken aback as TBH I didn't raise voice, swear etc. I feel I have a little bit of an excuse, stressful time at work, moving house and pretty much doing everything on the homefront, I just snapped. This is the first time I've done this on 10 years! I feel he and they are way overreacting, and I don't want to make it bigger a thing than it is. Or am I out of order and should call FIL? Any advice would be very welcome, thank you

OP posts:
TeddyMcardle · 17/04/2011 20:47

You could casually mention the mitigating factors next time you see him? By way of explanation, everyone snaps sometimes though so shouldn't really be an issue imo.

holyShmoley · 17/04/2011 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slambang · 18/04/2011 13:52

yes you should. I'd feel incredibly humiliated if my dh 'had a go' at me in front of my parents. Not for what was said but for speaking in anger in a family situation. V rude to everybody present.

oldwomaninashoe · 18/04/2011 14:09

Yes you should apologise, whatever your mitigating circumstances they were probably very embarassed and uncomfortable by your behaviour, and do it soon!

Tuggy · 18/04/2011 14:13

No, this is between you and your DH.

Your FIL can't be "furious" as his son is now a grown man and can fight his own battles. If it was my CHILD (under 18) that was shouted at I'd be angry. But your husband is presumably all grown up now and its fuck all to do with his daddy anymore.

Xales · 18/04/2011 14:15

Depends entirely on the circumstances and reasons.

You could apologies for losing your temper/creating a scene in front of them and making them feel uncomfortable but not about the reasons if they were valid.

AS your your FIL being furious about how you spoke to his son perhaps his son deserved it?

Original poster
LTJ7 · 18/04/2011 19:35

Thanks very much for all your comments. I bit the bullet and made this call and resisted any excuses etc, just apologised straight for making them feel uncomfortable and that I shouldn't have done it. They were v gracious which was kind and helped a bit. I'm now going to have a glass of wine! Thanks again. Won't be doing that again for a while anyway!

OP posts:
yama · 18/04/2011 19:40

Well done. I was going to say that I agree with Xales but I see the situation is resolved.

stream · 18/04/2011 19:50

But, more importantly, is the underlying issue resolved?

vickylou2004 · 18/04/2011 20:19

For what reason did you have a go at him?

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