Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Not in the baby books!

15 replies

adventuremouse · 17/04/2011 19:58

I'm currently 37+6 weeks pregnant, have read about a million baby books but I have one really pressing unanswered question, I wondered if anyone could help?

At the moment my dp and I have a fairly active sex life. Once the baby is born we're intending to have it in our room for at least 6 months (not co-sleeping, in a moses basket we hope). So, what is the done thing if we want to have sex? I realise it might not be on the agenda for a bit after the birth, but will surely come up sometime. My dp thinks the baby will not notice, but I'm not sure if this is right. Would it be better to move the baby into a different room with a monitor while we have sex, or should we go elsewhere?

Sorry if this is a stupid question.

OP posts:

noodle69 · 17/04/2011 20:00

We just did it on the living room floor mainly cause personally we would both find the baby offputting. Some people do it though but I dont think you can really go for it with a baby in the room in case you wake them up

RitaMorgan · 17/04/2011 20:03

The baby won't notice!

We've managed sex without waking a co-sleeping baby - you just have to be quiet

springlambkin · 17/04/2011 20:05

Well, in the 6 months before we moved our babies into their own rooms we had sex all of, um...once So you may not find this comes up much as an issue

But really, at that age, they will just sleep through it I'm sure. Or you could just do it elsewhere

TheArmadillo · 17/04/2011 20:07

babies tend to sleep through a lot. As long as you keep the noise down they shouldn't wake up.

Iggly · 17/04/2011 20:08

Haves quickie in the day when baby is napping in another room? I couldn't even contemplate sex with DS was in the room as I was "in tune" to him, listening out etc. Maybe it was because I was BF too - reminding me that my boobs were not just for sex?!!
Although I wasn't that interested anyway, not until DS was sleeping better and in his own room.

Original poster

adventuremouse · 17/04/2011 20:12

Thanks everyone, that's helpful. Possibly I'm being a bit optimistic thinking about having sex with a newborn around anyway .

OP posts:

spidookly · 17/04/2011 20:15

Just do it with the baby there, it will be totally oblivious.

noodle69 · 17/04/2011 20:17

yeah the baby is oblivious but I think it is hard to be oblivious to the baby!

springlambkin · 17/04/2011 20:19

I do know a few people who were at it like rabbits after their DC were born though

bebemooneedsabreak · 17/04/2011 20:22

interestingly I didn't mind having dd in the room with us but dh was not so keen...likewise sometimes she'd fuss from the other room in the middle of things and he'd want to stop or he'd be distracted by her, I didn't find it so distracting (because I usually knew it just meant she wanted attention or was getting close to feeding- but didn't need us right that moment)

Helzapoppin · 17/04/2011 20:41

Our sex life got back to normal pretty quickly after having DD and she slept (and then co-slept) with us for 13 months. I think that you just have to get used to lots of sofa based shagging (or there's always the kitchen table). We used to go into her nursery, which had a spare bed when she was sprawled in our bed, and they do spend a lot of time asleep, at which point they are not really bothered what you are up to six feet away (although beware the peturbing moment when they silently wake and you notice them starring a you with a curious expression!).

TBH, it doesn't get much easier when they are two and prone to wandering in unannounced at all times of the night (although DD likes being allowed to watch CBeebies in the living room on a weekend morning as a special treat!)

EricNorthmansMistress · 17/04/2011 21:48

You can have as much sex as you want to have. Don't buy the line that you never want sex after a baby, it's not true for everyone! We used to do it in the living room with DS asleep in his bouncy chair in the evening as we co-slept. Once he went in his basket we just did it when he was asleep. It's pretty easy to ignore a sleeping baby! And he was a good sleeper so not easy to disturb. We still used the living room quite often though just because we didn't have to whisper!

Original poster

adventuremouse · 17/04/2011 23:20

Thanks everyone for not making me feel like some sex-obsessed pervert for asking about this!

OP posts:

blackcurrants · 17/04/2011 23:41

Sofa. Lots of feeling each other up on the sofa. :) T'was quite nice actually, bit like being a teen again. Being sternly told not to shag until the 6 week check up took some of the pressure off, and we did quite a bit of sofa-based snogging during that time. Then - yes, the baby naps and you find yourself lunging at your partner in the spare room, on the landing, etc.

Or not! It's very much a moment-to-moment, how tired am I, how much do I want my DH right now kinda feeling, with a new baby. You're not a perve if you're at it like knives, and you're not weird if you don't have sex for half a year, either. Each baby is different, each mum and dad too!

MsPav · 18/04/2011 00:02

Well, we had a big bed and I remember once making lovely gentle love whilst my DS(now 20!) rocked gently on the bed, sound asleep.

Never bothered us whether or not DCS were in room, as long as they were settled. But, of course it was fantastic to get time on our own too!

Flip