No, I am not being funny, although phobia is probably too strong a word. However my in-laws have an effect on me that I can't seem to control. DH and I have been married for 2 years, together for 12, so I have known his family a long time. Get on great with BiL but M and FiL are another story. it is not that they treat me badly or anything, on the contrary, they are very nice to me but whenever I see them, their lifestyle and attitudes make me feel very depressed. After a few days in their house I honestly start feeling like there is no point to life, everything looks black and hopeless and sometimes I even have melodramatic thoughts and begin to question my marriage, think about leaving the country etc. (I am Irish, DH is Spanish, we live in Spain).
Definitely part of the problem is that I come from a very different background. My parents are very liberal, well-educated, active, social people. We have strong bonds with our extended family, and there was always a stream of visitors and family coming in and out of the house. I don't mean to sound like it was the Cosby Show, I think I knew what the word 'overdraft' meant from the age of about five:) but we were a laid-back, jokey household with lots of conversation and socialising.
PsIL, on the other hand, are very dour, serious and reserved. They seem to have no sense of humour at all and although they are only in their early 70s, act like they are 90. They both grew up in fairly humble circumstances, not their fault I know, but they never made any attempt to widen their horizons. They seem to be afraid of everything, and now rarely leave the house. They have practically no friends. I think FiL looks down his nose at the other people in their village and prefers to stay aloof. Their only source of distraction is the tv which they watch for about 12 hours a day, mostly crappy soaps and reality shows. MiLs attitudes are very hard to take sometimes, e.g. 'women who work outside the home shouldn't be surprised if their husbands beat them up', 'why do there have to be so many blacks in this country?', the immigrants are too blame for everything etc.
Anyway, this is already far too long, but they are coming to visit for a few days tomorrow and I am already on a downward spiral, had a nightmare last night, etc. I know they will never change, they have only got worse over the years, but what can I do to keep myself in a positive frame of mind for the next couple of days? I know I am completely over-reacting, but I don't know how to avoid it.