Do romantic getaways make or break stressed couples?

[SylvanianFamily]

My chum has been under lots of pressure - basically single parenting her kids while her DH works away for weeks at a time to try to earn enough to make ends meet.

I've been meaning to gift them a bit of time alone (i.e. £200 in an envelope for a hotel, I'll watch the kids, don't come back for 2 days). They've mentioned how they've never had a holiday together - or even a night away from the kids.

Thing is, all her conversation at the moment has gone onto " he doesn't know how hard it is for me; I didn't have these kids to raise them alone; I'd get more money if I was a single mum". I get the impression they're arguing a lot on the phone, and both quite down and worried about the future.

I'm now worried my 'gift' will just give them more time to argue . Not even 100% sure they'd accept it (so don't know if to just book the holiday directly, so they can't refuse).

How do you help a stressed couple?

That's a lovely thought SF.

I can only answer that DH and I both work full-time ++ and going away together last August was what saved us, I still think about how we felt now; it was a huge relief to enjoy each other's company without any outside pressures.

But if you are concerned, why not start with a babysitting offer?

What a nice friend you are!

They will probably initially both be so tired that they will be too tired to argue.

I think that actually booking the break rather than giving them the cash is a better idea, I'm sure they will appreciate it.

What a fabulous thought :)

I'd go for it - and book it, even though that looks a bit controlling!! They can't argue themselves out of the break that way. A word of caution, though - please try and frame it, both to them and yourself - as a chance to recharge, not necessarily a relationship patch. They must be knackered. If they row while away, well so be it - but at least they'll row better after a good long sleep and a feet-up.

Lots of :) :) for you.

What a lovely person you are SF. If a friend did that for me I'd think they were very special.
To be honest, if ever DH and I have manged to grab some time alone it's really helped. Everyday life with kids and worries does have a negative effect on a relationship.