Horny Goat Weed

[anon1910]

Has anyone used this??

I am thinking of buying it to give my libido a kick up the bum, I have a very low sex drive, especially compared to my DH.

He is getting to the end of his tether with me and after a long talk yesterday, I am trying to do something about it.

I have tried going to the dr's but found it very embarrassing and so by the way did the dr ....... he prescribed some low testosterone tablets, which did absolutely nothing.

So I have been researching on the net and found these tablets, with some mixed results, but mostly leaning towards, helping.

Thanks for any comments.

Go back to the doctors.

Nope, not doing that bofb,

Really couldn't do that again

But thanks for replying xx

I know I say this all the time but lots of people don't feel sexual desire until they are aroused, you don't have to want sex to enjoy sex.
The traditional way of thinking is that desire precedes arousal but recent research has shown that it is often the other way around.
More orgasms = more libido imho too.

Do you get aroused/enjoy sex once you get down to it?

I swear by ginseng and gingko (for general energy) but it's not recommended if you are under forty and you shouldn't take it all the time.

I do get aroused sometimes, usually if he gives me a massage first, before starting anything, but he can't do this every time and it doesn't always work to be honest.

Even when I am aroused, I still don't orgasm through sex, I usually only do if I work on myself, he doesn't ever get the pressure right ....

TMI !! I know, but after our talk last night I REALLY want to sort this out, we have had this problem for many years, but this time there seems to be a light bulb moment, and I really want something to work ...

I have read about lube, helping, but I don't need that at all, does it give some other sensations ???

I am a very shy person and can't believe I'm typing this

My DH spoke about sex toys to help when we are having sex for me to orgasm, but just talking about it, I was bright red, I couldn't lie there and use them

Thanks for replying malificence - I was hoping you would answer

It's great that he wants you to get pleasure from sex, a small bullet vibrator would be an excellent choice to start with, they aren't huge, obvious phallic objects, there is really nothing embarrassing about them, they are easy to incorporate into having sex, as are vibrating cock rings, make sure you go for multi speed ones though, the cheapo ones aren't powerful enough .

Lube is fab, it just makes everything feel nicer, you could also get an orgasm enhancing gel/balm , something with l-arginine in it ( it has the effect of engorging your clitoris) to speed up the sensation.

Believe it or not, I haven't always enjoyed sex the way I do now, it took me years to let go of my natural uptightness and just enjoy , I found that the easiest way of talking about sex, particularly what I wanted from it, was to talk in bed with the lights off.
I'm actually very shy too, it was hard work coming out of my shell so to speak and DH often said that I was like a different person, I found I got a bit carried away and quite sexually aggressive at first and he had a hard time dealing with the new me, but after a few months we found our balance again, I have found that my libido has stayed naturally high too.

Malificence

Where would I get the gel/balm from??? Online ideally
Same for the vibrator ....

I think I would like to buy them without telling DH first, he really needs to know that I mean it this time, as we have had this problem for a long time, and I have in my shame, said I would do something before but I haven't.

How did you tell your DH on that very 1st occasion when things were changing what you would like him to do/not to do???

A very nosy question but I am really struggling with verbalising this to him, silly I know we have been together for 17 years, but when you go such a long time, with how things have always been, even if they don't float your boat, its really hard to try to change them.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your help xx

Lovehoney is a great site for getting lube, toys and other ideas. Stuff arrives quickly, and in anonymous parcels.

This is nice, if pricey.

Thanks Butterbur - it looks a bit ..... I don't know lol, not what I was expecting, I really can't see myself using this in front of DH, do women really use this stuff with their DH's

I'm really struggling with this ....

I will have look around the site, if the kids go off and play

xxx

I second lovehoney, far cheaper than Ann Summers and the like, quick discreet delivery too.

He doesn't have to be spectator, with you using toys while he watches, my DH has never been into that, he prefers doing to watching, a decent vibrating cock ring is probably the easiest toy to start with, it's fun for you both and not at all intrusive, neither is a small vibe - it may be an idea to change the ways in which you have sex too - if sex is always the same then try new positions.

I didn't actually know for almost 20 years that DH liked me on top best of all for instance ( something I would rarely do because I felt too fat ), he was as guilty as me for not talking about sex, he has always been sensitive to my insecurities, he never complained about lack of sex or variety, he loved me regardless, we both realised we need to start making an effort though - he was utterly shocked when I ordered a cock ring and lube for the first time, he kind of felt that I was trying to tell him he wasn't good enough but after that first time with lube he was hooked .
As for broaching subjects, I simply said , would you like to try x, or y? Some things I've suggested have been met with a look or a no thanks too.
I've never had to tell him not to do something because he's never done things that I didn't like or did nothing for me. I found a submissive side that neither of us knew I had, and thankfully DH knew instinctively how to give me what I wanted, we would have had problems if he hadn't been interested, or had wanted me to dominate him.
At first I found dressing up in sexy undies etc. a confidence boost, it was a way of not being completely exposed if that makes any sense and his reaction was always worth the effort and/or embarrassment, he did worry that it was all some kind of act though and that I was trying too hard, I admit I got carried away but it helped me let that side of myself out.
It is difficult but it's worth a bit of embarrassment and it's definitely worth the effort, it's a learning curve but isn't everything worthwhile?

Thanks Mal,

I will look at lovehoney with DH tonight when the kids are in bed and see what takes our fancy, (I'll try not to go too red)

You've been a great help, and have helped me enormously - thank you xx