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Original poster

If I end the relationship is it me who has to leave the house?

5 replies

BeingFair · 14/04/2011 23:09

Hi. I am a long time user of MN, but more of a lurker than poster, have namechanged and change quite a lot anyway.

DH and I are having counselling and there is a possibility that we will split up. I am the one who is most unhappy. He is not abusive but our ways of communicating whilst trying to keep a relationship going with three dcs have caused an erosion of feeling for me. As well as a few other more minor things.

I am trying to get my feelings back but they may not come back.

So, if we separate, would I have to leave the house as I am the main driver in all this? I am a SAHM and we have three young school aged boys. I contribute about 50% through other means of what DH earns to our joint "pot".

We are currently renting and having only been here 6 months would rather not disrupt the children again so soon. It is a great house in a great spot with lots of friends for them to play with nearby.

There is a lot to consider but my main question here is, do I have to go? I do everything for the children during the week so I don't know how that would work if I'm not here!

I want to stay in the house but is that awful as he would be losing his wife and his home?

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 14/04/2011 23:12

But if you are renting, he's not going to mind moving out as much as if you both owned the house, is he?

Oh just realised you meant should you have to go on your own? No, I don't see why you should go if the marriage has broken down. It's a joint effort, isn't it? You are their main carer and that should continue.

Original poster
BeingFair · 14/04/2011 23:39

Thanks atswimtwolengths. He would be sad to leave the house and devasted to leave the dcs although he would see/have them a lot.

OP posts:
SpringchickenGoldBrass · 15/04/2011 00:33

No, you wouldn't have to leave the house. It is likely that if your H refused to leave, a court would award you possession and compel him to move out, if you are the main carer for the DC. However TBH in a rented property it might be easier to find somewhere else for you and the DC if the H won't leave.

Original poster
BeingFair · 15/04/2011 02:37

Thanks Springchicken, it's useful to get this information.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 15/04/2011 07:24

XH told me that as well: that because I was the one who wanted out, I was the one who would have to leave. It wasn't true.

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