DH and I met, married and had DS (now 13months) fairly fast. We had both been in previous shitty relationships that had come close to wrecking our heads, but had mostly moved on. We had the best, most fun, loving, trusting, communicative relationship ever.
As a child had I had all my physical needs met, but rarely my emotional ones. In particular I had a lot of decisions made for me, and given few choices or opportunities to express my self. No one listened to me. I learned to be very self sufficient and withdrawn. With DH for the first time in my life (aged 30) i felt able to say how I felt. I have probably gone a bit overboard telling him how i feel!
Since DS was born he says I have become a control freak. That I have impossibly high standards regarding housework, punctuality. I think he has a point. That he can't see his friends as often as he likes and has to phone them in secret cos I don't like it when he is on the phone and I don't like his friends and they don't like me. I think that is more about them and him than me. He has 3 friends (2 are a couple) that have been dicks. The rest are lovely.
I find it hard that I've been at home all day with DS and when DH comes home he is immediately on the phone or checking his emails. That we can't have a conversation because he is so easily distracted by the Tv (and so hard to distract from it). I've just started back at work part time on one of the days he has off work partly in order to keep child care costs down. Partly also so that I have to spend less time cooped up with him. Partly so he and DS can spend some time together without listening to us bickering.
I want us to be happy. I want to be less controlling and bad tempered. I want our relationship back. Part of me thinks I could have some sort of delayed PND (this has been going on to some extent for months). I actually don't think either of us have changed that much since were married, just our eyes are open now.
We both wanted another baby and were TTC. The sex naturally has been rubbish cos we're not that keen on each other at the moment. But my period is late (only 2 days, had planned to test tomorrow). TBH I think we rushed into it last time and were naive. We should have known better this time. I think if I am pg we will have to think about a termination.
Where to go now? I suppose couple's counselling (he'd be happy to do this), or maybe just for me. Would have to leave DS with a stranger as would prefer to keep private from usual family babysitters. Not keen but would do it to save our marriage.