Hi all
ok, here is my situation. I have been in a relationship with another woman for 6 years. She is much older (nearly twice my age) and we are from very different backgrounds- I am the very lucky and slightly spoilt only child of a middle class family from a 'nice'area, she had a horrible upbringing involving physical and sexual abuse and left home at 14. Basically in many ways we are like chalk and cheese.
Despite all this, we do have a very strong connection and I feel very protective of her. However, we have had a tempestuous time. We argue a lot and have split up twice. Sometimes our arguments have become physical, although I have to say that without trying to be self-justifying, I have only ever pushed or held her by the arm, whereas she has hit me before, tried to drag me downstairs etc. This physical stuff has not happened though for a good year or so.
The main problem we argue about, though, is that I have not told my parents we are together. I think they have an inkling as I talk about spending tone with her etc but they do not actually know and she finds this hurtful, which I can understand totally. The reasons for not telling then are
many. My mum suffers from depression and anxiety; she is a catholic; my parents have always expected perfection from me. I also feel that my not telling them is linked to all the difficulties we have had- maybe that I feel we will not stay together and therefore it's not worth the trauma that telling my parents would cause. My partner maintains that this is the main cause of our arguments though and that if I told them, we would stop arguing.
Sorry this is so long. My question is, should I tell my parents? Or should tge fact that I haven't told them already be a sign that this isn't for me?