I really think me and dp need to split up

[FedUpOfLiving]

We just don't like each other anymore, went out for lunch alone recently and I spent the entire time reading the menu, we didn't speak..... except for when he told me to shut up because I spoke too loud

He made an absolute twat of me recently outside our house when we were going out, the cat had ran out and as it was pretty stormy I wanted to get it inside... only to have don't be so fucking stupid, you're making a fool of yourself screamed at me in front of the neighbours.

We don't sleep in the same bed (he sleeps on the floor)

He went out recently and as he can't handle his drink I put the chain on the door so I could see what state he was in, he 'pretended' to be ok, so I let him in resulting in around four hours of verbal abuse and him trying to drag me out of dds bedroom (where i'd gone to get away from him)

I have put up with all of this for years, the belittling, the humiliation. He has dragged me down so much and made me so low. I then get shouted at for staring into space, I get shouted at for chewing my hair which I try to hide behind so he can't see me and how disgusting i've become. The house is a mess.... I get shouted at for that which makes me feel worse.

Tonight however he has gone too far. I had put on a pair of his shorts earlier as I chucked mine in the wash so was going to have a shower, he put them on after his bath and came stomping down the stairs screaming 'these fucking stink, why do they fucking stink'

I told them they stink because I stink, it's probably true. I probably do stink.

I want out, I can't take anymore i'm fed up of having no confidence and walking with my eyes fixed to the floor and of not wanting to go outside. I hate it, I hate me. There is no affection there. I don't love him, we make each other miserable

What the fuck do I do though ?? How do I get out of this ?

FedUpOfLiving

Were you this fed up BEFORE your problems with dh or SINCE he's been like this?

Of course the fear of going out/thinking you smell/hair chewing is related to the way you are being treated. Once you get rid of him, a lot of this stuff will clear up by itself.

Now, think practical. Is the idea to get him to go, or for you to take the dcs and go? I suggest you go to a solicitor (ring up a few places and find out who will do a free half hour). It might be worth trying to talk to CAB as well (and Women's Aid is likely to have good advice to offer).

It seems difficult now, but even if he kicks up a fuss and refuses to leave the house, he can't force you to stay married to him, you know. There is a way out.

You've made the breakthrough and realized that this is no way to live. That's huge, in some ways the most difficult step. Now you just have to sort out the logistics. It's daunting, but there are places where you can get help. People leave all the time. You can do it.