Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Suggestions on nice ways to spend time together...

3 replies

FollowMe · 13/04/2011 16:30

DH and I were talking earlier about how we just dont spend much time together and are trying to think of ways we can make things work out a bit better in that respect...

The main issue is that DH is self employed and works from home, he can pretty much work his own hours (within reason) but has to do at least 7 hours a day to make ends meet.
At the moment we have settled into a routine of him starting work at 9ish once I leave the house with the kids for school run etc. He then works till tea time, has an hour with us to eat and then goes back to work for a couple of hours while I get the kids bathed and into bed.

By the time DH finishes work between 8 and 9pm I am quite frankly knackered. I am pregnant and in bed by about 10pm most nights. I am suitable for nothing much apart from watching mindless TV at that point in the evening.

DH, after a day in front of a screen, is raring to go at 8pm (he is a night owl) and wants to do anything except sit in front of another screen!

We have realised that DH has been going out more nights than he has been staying in recently and he's only doing that because he doesnt want to veg in front of the TV (he goes out to the gym, extra sessions of his martial arts club, to friends house to play games etc, so not just out drinking or anything). Normally I'd be up for joining in some of the sporty things too, but am too pregnant to do so right now.

I'd be happy to go out with him for a meal once a week or so, but by the time you add up the cost of the meal plus babysitting it is too expensive to be practical.

We are thinking maybe of DH changing his work hours to something out of the norm so that the 'free time' he has not working would be at a better time for me to be awake and spend the time with him, but not quite sure really how that would work with the kids and school etc.
We have a 5yr old (at school), a 3 yr old (at pre school 2 mornings a week) and a new baby due in 3 months!

At the moment I feel like I am at home all day with the kids, stuck in all evening on my own while the kids are asleep and DH is either working or out.
From DH's point of view, he works hard all day and then I dont want to spend any time with him when he finishes, am just watching TV or in bed and so he might as well go out.

Any ideas of how we can make more quality time together?

OP posts:
Ragwort · 13/04/2011 16:34

My DH works from home and can schedule his own hours - we quite often go for a walk and lunch whilst DS is at school - as your youngest is only at pre-school a couple of mornings could you do a walk and a coffee? Sorry if that sounds dull, I expect we are a lot older than you and your DH Grin.

FollowMe · 13/04/2011 16:44

Yes, that is a nice idea. Could be worth a try for the next few weeks (then it will be summer hols and will have both DCs home all the time and then baby will be here before school starts again! eek!).
Might be a nice way to spend time together even when baby is here and kids back at school actually, as could take baby for walk in the pram and sit and feed while having coffee and cake in a coffee shop afterwards...

OP posts:
PoledrathePissedOffFairy · 13/04/2011 16:49

I was about to come on and suggest going for a walk during the day too - you get a chance to talk to each other, as well as getting some exercise out in the fresh air. And won't it be lovely to do it with the new baby in the pram! Oh, and it would be good for your DH to have a break from his computer screen rather than sitting there all the time.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page