can anyone give me reassuring words to tell my best friend who is breaking it off with fiance?

[mamaesi]

the guy is horrible. she has tried to leave him before but she always caves in and takes him back/gives up...

this time she seams serious... but she is soooo scared to be 33 and alone, especially when she wants so badly to have kids..

any words of wisdom? i need ideas

I have a couple of pals who have called off weddings and time on relationships. They are all, without exception, much happier. They are all in better and more stable relationships now, with and without kids. Having kids together is one of the hardest thing I did with my DH and I would not recommmend it in a pretty crap union.
If she can get the strength to leave him she will be stronger and happier and will most likely find someone who loves and appreciates her.
Good luck

much better now than later down the line when there might be kids and a messy divorce to deal with. Being alone may be scarey but being with a loser like this for the next few decades must be a more scarey prospect.

I can't think of anything worse than having a child with a horrible man. She really needs to bite the bullet, finish with him and then do everything she can to make sure she's in a good way to meet other people and have a baby (physically, mentally, emotionally, financially.)

I completely agree with mrscantona.

I had a vile boyfriend when I was 30-31. I thought it was my last chance, clock ticking, and held on despite his vileness. He dumped me, I crashed. Sorted myself out and am now happily married and having child number 2.

I shudder to think what staying with Mr. Vile and having children would have meant.

Your friend would be much better off getting shot and taking stock, including working on why she got together with him and stayed with him.

She's got time to have a family. She's got time to have fun, too.

I did it, six weeks before my wedding.

Am now so much happier, with a wonderful husband and children. Like Eldritch, I shudder to think...

The only thing I would add is that, at the time, it feels like the biggest, most dangerous and momentous thing you have ever done. But five years down the line, you life will have moved on (and so will everyone else's) and it will just seem like one of those things that happen.

Agree there's plenty of time to meet people and have a family. Hope she's brave enough to make the right choice.

I knew on my wedding day I was making a mistake. It's a horrible feeling, and you can't really tell anybody what you're thinking. Far better to knock it on the head before you sign the register.

i called off my 1st wedding a month before the event, since i knew it was a total mistake.

then like garlicbutter, some years later, i got married to someone knowing it was going to be a disaster but felt i was backed into a corner... it was probably the biggest mistake of my life, i had no idea just how much of a disaster it was going to become.

at 36 i finally got married to my wonderful dh. 3rd time lucky.

33? Thirty three? A mere child! I met dp & conceived dd aged 39, dd born when I was 40.5. Thirty three indeed. She'll be fine.