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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help needed re contact

1 reply

nanatothree · 11/04/2011 20:51

My DD has 3DC. Her DS1 age 6 has never known his real father who left them when he was 5mths old. Last time was at 2.5 for a few hours in a park. Then only intermittent contact on phone with DH. DD is now married to lovely guy who has been daddy to DC1 since he was 1.5years. Real father now in touch again he is 6hours away, married and has 1DSS (3) DS (10mth) and DS(3) with another woman. To cut a long story short he came for the day at DD house and DH took other children and himself off so DS1 could spend time with his father.
All went quite well real father wants to bring wife and children next visit in fact wife does not like him spending time in DDs house. DD was told he was going to say DH and kiddies there all the time.
DS1 got little upset wondering if daddy was now going to leave him! Poor thing cant really understand that DD is trying to be fair to real father for DS1 sake, but he doesn't really know this person. Is she right to say get to know just his father for know before anyone else? Also wonders if she will go to him next time!

OP posts:
countydurhamlass · 11/04/2011 20:58

i think he should get to know his daughter before introducing anyone else to her. i would also suggest indirect contact such as telephone calls once a week to build up a relationship with her, and perhaps a letter on a regular basis.

if he is not prepared to do this then i wouldnt let him have contact, if he took the matter to court the judge probably would say he would need to build up his contact first and suggest the above so it would be a win win situation for your dd

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