Since I split with exh about a year ago, there has never been any kind of proper arrangements in place. At first he wanted joint custody, and we were each having ds the same amount of nights per week. Then that started to dwindle a bit. About 6 months ago, he said that his mum wanted to have ds either Friday or Saturday night every week, but that lasted for a couple of weeks, and they decided between them that it was too much for ds, and was confusing him (which I agreed with, incidentally) so that stopped.
The situation now is this - exh won't give me any more than a couple of days notice as to when he wants ds overnight - I'm very flexible, and obviously I want ds and his dad to have a close relationship and to see each other as much as possible. But I have no life! I can't make any arrangements, I have no social life and I need the situation to be more structured.
So tonight I've asked him to have ds one weekend a month - so that we all know what we're doing, and he's refused point blank. He works shifts, and always uses that as a reason not to be able to tell me in advance when he can have him.
What can I do? I can't afford a solicitor, and I'm not entitled to legal aid. I feel like he's using this as an exercise in control, he gets all the freedom, and I can never go out or arrange anything in advance.
Is there anything I can do to change this? Any advice?