There is a family friend that I 'talk' to effectively every night on Facebook. He's the same age as me - early 40s.
We are both single, he left a 16 year relationship two years ago,
I left an 8 year relationship also two years ago.
I have two children under 4, he has none.
Neither of us have ever married.
I have only met him twice at family events, barely saying a word to eachother (shy).
Online conversation in thatmdium can be very delicate, sometimes every nuance can be perceived as having several contexts. Although we are both articulate, I seem to reach a dead end regularly if I become too intimate.
For example, if we're having a conversation about, say favourite foods, and he will say 'I have a thing for Bloggs', later that night he will sign out by saying goodbye to me and calling me Bloggs. Thus suggesting he 'has a thing' for me, yes? he does this all the time.
There is light flirting, but only ever in a conversation where others are present, we never flirt in conversations between just ourselves.
When I read conversations between him and other people- usually my sister- he alludes to me a lot by saying things like, 'plinkduet would know', or 'that's the sort of thing plinkduet likes'. Does that mean I'm on his mind?
He met my mum in town once and she seemed to think he was very protective of me and had a lot of respect for me.
I sent him a Valentine card this year, not really anonymous, unfortunately it went to his old house where his ex of 16 years lived so she got to see it when he collected his mail, but he just shrugged it off and said she wasnt offended. He was jovial in tone online, in private messages I think I had a gentle rejection, as he said he was 'unnattainable' at present as he was still getting over teh guilt of leaving his ex. But he didnt directly say unnattainable to me, but in reference to the number of women that chase him on facebook!
The house he shared with his ex has recently sold, he has moved into his own apartment now and she has ambitions to move a couple of hundred miles away. From what I can gather, they are the best of friends, she is still seen socially and taken for expensive brithday treats, as he's happy to declare all this on facebook quite openly.
I am starting to think about him all the time, yet I've only ever met him twice! I know how odd online conversation can be as I met my theildren's father after 3 months of intense talk in a chatroom.
We seem to have a silly amount in common interest wise, are both eligible, of course he is beautiful, but it's driving me a little nuts now.
I know logistically 'dating' would be difficult as I dont work and have both children home with constantly apart from 3 hours a day the eldest is at nursery, although she starts school in September. He is self-employed though so could be flexible on time. There would be no spontaneity would there, because babysitters always neccessary. Having to take the children everywhere with us isnt ideal at the start of a relationship.
His ex has two grown up children so I' assuming they all lived as a family for at least a couple of years, but she chose not to have further children.
How can you tell if someone's interested or not? I dont want to ask directly as I do enjoy talking with someone who shares the same interests and a direct rejection would floor me, I just know.
Deep down, I think I know it's just a case of having lots in common with someone, and I'm prepared to sit tight until he might see me in a different light. But if someone seems to talk to you most out of everyone, refers to you in your absence, and sometimes indulges in flirting, doesnt that mean thery like youust a little bit?