Can anyone help me please?

[InLimbo77]

Xp told me we were over in jan, weve been living in same house, seperate rooms since then.
Dd now knows we are not together and is coping well i think as were keeping it civil in front of her.

Xp is not helping things work this way, he still doesnt go out much but when he does like this weekend, he doesnt bother coming back till following day with no real explanation just barking i have double standards ( i was out last wkend for my birthday n got rarely drunk BUT i came home.

It cant work this way, we are now hating eachother so dd will start to feel the tension. Hes said he wont move out, that i wont get a mortgage ( joint names but im s. Employed), that dd would stay with him etc etc basically being an evil bastard.

I know i need legal advice, im ringing someone back shortly but jyst wanted a bit of maybe experience advice, how to do things etc.. Feel like my worlds about to end .x

i dont get why he needs to tell you of his comings and goings, you are separated, he doesnt have any obligation to tell you

InLimbo what a horrid situation for you. I was in a similar position with an XP a few years ago and it was truly miserable; it sounds like you are handling things with your DD very well, and I hope you are managing to look after yourself too.

I am no expert in the legal field but I did want to say that just because you are self employed, doesn't mean you won't get a mortgage. DH and I are both s employed and have managed to get mortgages (individually and now jointly).

Do you have an accountant? I don't and I was really worried about that when first applying for a mortgage on my self employed earnings but I found out that you can pay for an accountant to double check accounts you have submitted yourself for the last three years - it's not as expensive as having an accountant do your books for you and banks that get a bit anxious about self declared earnings are much happier to take it on board as proof of income.

Also, it's worth checking with citizens advice bureau about your position re the house. Is it in both your names? Your XP might find that he has to either sell up and split the assets with you or buy you out.

I hope everything sorts itself out for you soon as I know what a living nightmare it can be. Here, have a or a depending on how your day is going so far...!

Hi, no i dont have an accountant right now, thank u for your advice, ive sought legal advuce which wasnt good, i can still live here but so can he, if sold profit split 50/50, he pays maintainence at 15% net wage thats it.
With me being S.E in my own, would be harder to get mortgage :-(.. Have to spk to tax credits to see if i will get any help there.. Looking at private rent and theyre way more than double what were paying here at min :-(

I didnt say i want to know where or who hes with, he told dd he was going out for a pint n didnt come home or even try to contact her till i text him the following afternoon. Thats not on to mess her around like that, she had plans with him on the morning.