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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

aibu to think my friends going out with a bit of a...psychopath?

25 replies

giraffesCantDanceWhileSober · 11/04/2011 05:06

Met up with her lastnight and she was telling me about this guy she has met online, hes 33 and at first sounded quite nice. Then she started telling me things like the first time they were out he asked her back to his, when she said no he started begging and begging. So repeatedly said no. In taxi home when it was his house he started begging again.

Anyway she went out with him again and they were at a park, sitting on a block thing and he said "this could be my cave, and I could lock you in here and just come and feed you from time to time"

Then today they were lying on grass sunbathing and chatting and he said "I want to get clothes pegs and pin you down so you are mine"

He also mentioned inviting her to a day out with him and his friend who has been married for 9 years, but he said I think I etter keep you away from him because he might leave his wife when he sees you. I need to keep you away from all the men they might surround you and start fighting over you.

She is going roun to his house tonight to watch eastenders?! Does he sound as odd to you as he does to me?

OP posts:
lljkk · 11/04/2011 05:28

Only the begging thing sounds a bit odd. The rest could just be immaturity, silliness and insecurity. Do you want to get his address of your mate, and then text her a few times while she's over there to see how it's going?

nothingnatural · 11/04/2011 05:30

Freak.

Steer clear.

Anyone who watches Eastenders is bound to be a loon.

GentleHotterCrossBuns · 11/04/2011 05:37

He sounds odd and controlling.

How does your friend feel about his comments?

Dred · 11/04/2011 05:58

I wouldn't be meeting him again after those comments. I agree with lljk, make sure you know where she's going, which is the normal thing to do when you meet someone off the net

AKissIsNotAContract · 11/04/2011 06:04

Why is she seeing him again after the begging on the first date?

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 11/04/2011 06:34

Yes. He sounds really strange.

Is she that lonely? Sad

Make sure you know the address. That way if she doesn't make it home, you can get the police to go round and make sure she's not tied up in a box in the spare room or something Hmm

giraffesCantDanceWhileSober · 11/04/2011 06:43

She is trying to "get over" a complete arse hole she has been seeing on and off for 2 years.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 11/04/2011 06:44

by hooking up with a weirdo?

Bucharest · 11/04/2011 06:44

He doesn't sound like a psycho.
He sounds pathetic.
Either way, she'd be better off with a rabbit.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 11/04/2011 07:43

It looks like she has found herself another loser bloke who this time around is controlling. This man will only further lower her already low sense of self worth and esteem.

I think your friend needs to love her own self for a change and be on her own.

gorionine · 11/04/2011 07:46

He sounds a bit creepy TBH. I t would scare me off.

Prunnhilda · 11/04/2011 07:50

Is it normal to start a relationship at the heady heights of 'going round to watch EastEnders'? That alone would be enough of a signal, never mind the extremely creepy things he has said.

When it all goes bad, she won't be able to say she didn't have fair warning, will she? Hmm

Anniegetyourgun · 11/04/2011 08:17

If your friend wants to get over a horrible relationship by dating, it would make more sense to go on a few more casual dates rather than plunging straight into a relationship with the first candidate who has all his own teeth. As for

"I need to keep you away from all the men..."

You know what they say: when someone tells you what they are...

IngridBergman · 11/04/2011 09:02

Oh God yes big red flags with bells on.

Can you steer her away from this creep towards someone with half a sense of boundaries? He does actually sound dangerous. He's warning her. She's ignoring it. He will take this as the go ahead to really do this sort of thing he's talking about.

I would urge you to try and stop this relationship asap

SueSylvesterforPM · 11/04/2011 09:17

That reminds of that creepy song

gorionine · 11/04/2011 09:20

Which creepy song?

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 11/04/2011 09:34

He sounds bananas. I'd run a mile from any man who said that. In fact you could post the OP in the stone dead relationship killer thread and nobody would bat an eyelash.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 11/04/2011 10:49

Is your friend a strapping wench with some martial arts training, and the bloke a puny little emo weed? Because that's the only reason I can think of for having a second date with someone who came out with that kind of creepy shit - feeling that you could physically overpower him if necessary.

blackeyeddog · 11/04/2011 10:54

He sounds utterly bizarre. Hope she hasn't told him her home address.

NettoSuperstar · 11/04/2011 10:59

He's weird, I'd run a mile from him.

Is she reallu desperate to not be alone?
One of my friends is and constantly gets involved with losers she meets online and doesn't see the glaring obvious signs that they are not decent men, and then thinks it's because she's horrible.

giraffesCantDanceWhileSober · 11/04/2011 22:32

She is tiny, ike size of a 12yr old.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 11/04/2011 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IngridBergman · 12/04/2011 08:04

Maybe he likes small people because they are - well, small. It might excite him that he is so much bigger and stronger than she is, or maybe that he coul;d protect her. or maybe that she looks like a 12yo

Either way I would be running a mile.

EggyFucker · 12/04/2011 08:10

He sounds like a nob, and she sounds rather needy for seeing him more than once

This "friend" isn't you is it ?

PlopPlopPing · 12/04/2011 08:51

Make sure she gives you his address before she goes and contact throughout the evening to make sure he's ok.

He sounds weird, controlling, posessive and rather creepy, scary etc. Why is she still seeing him?!

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