Hello there. Some of you might remember me - my dp left after 17 years very suddenly back in January, and there have been all sorts of issues coming out due to his behaviour towards our daughter, and at the moment he's not having contact with the children.
Anyway, I am at a very low point this weekend.
First of all, it's hit home that here I am, 40 years old, single and basically there's no-one out there that loves me. I feel so very very lonely and sad. I don't have much of a social life because of the children and as I can't trust ex to baby sit I can't afford a sitter very often. I don't have any friends locally to help out and my family are not round here either.
I met ex yesterday to sort out the house and finances, managed to get the settlement I wanted to buy him out which should have made me feel on top of the world, but when we were leaving, he gave me a hug. I broke away first and went, but it really brought home all the affection and love I am missing. Not that I got it from him but I so miss having someone to talk to and who will hug me and love me. I am so lonely. I have friends but it is not the same.
I have had a huge row with my mum as she has badly interfered with my discussions with ex. Unknown to me, she has been phoning his parents and e-mailing him legal documents she wants him to sign. I know she is trying to help but honestly that is going too far. She didn't even mention any of this to me and now I am worried she has kiboshed the agreement I made with him yesterday by doing this.
Ex is also threatening to take me to court about contact with the children. They do not want to see him and dd has said shocking things about how he treated her physically.
The children have also been awful tonight. I asked dd to put her clothes away and had a total tantrum. She hit me and slammed the door in my face, and has just come downstairs and ended up waving her fists at me and was growling and snarling at me. I cannot cope with this sort of thing by myself. I did not react and told her to go upstairs, but she is refusing to have her bath or go to bed. I am leaving her to calm down but I do not know how to cope with this. The younger child is copying this sort of behaviour as we see it a lot whenever she is asked to do something she doesn't want to. She then says afterwards she did it because she is upset about her dad but to be honest that just seems like taking the mickey as it's only when she has to do her chores.
I have had just about enough of this all and I don't know what to do to feel better. I am just crying as I am typing this and the worst thing is I know nobody will come through to see if I am okay or comfort me and I am just on my own with this like with everything else.