advice pls - making contact with someone from the past

[boysrahandful]

I want to make contact with a lovely man I met on holiday 20 years ago. The way we met was very special and very romantic, nothing really happened but he did make quite an effort to meet again on holiday and to keep in contact with me for a short while, but we lived very far away so nothing came of it.
I am now 40 with 2 boys, I divorced last year and would like to meet someone. I have been doing a little internet dating but friends say I should make contact with people from the past.

So, I have been on the internet and have found his address, no-one else lives there, and there are no marriage records showing for him. So it looks like he doesn't have a live-in partner or has been married (although I realise he probably will have a girlfriend and that info on internet can be inaccurate). He owns a pub near where he lives, but it is run by someone else. Reviews of his pub online mention his name.
I can't facebook him as I am unsure I have found the correct person on facebook (unclear photo).
I want to make contact with him, but don't want to be too forward.

I'm not keen to go to the pub as that seems too intrusive and I may see him and wimp out of approaching him, and he would be unprepared.

Writing to him is an option, but will that appear like I am stalking him. Should I send a letter to his home or the pub?
I could go to the pub for a meal and leave a note for him.
I could also send my sister to the pub to investigate, she lives nearby.
If he is in a relationship I wouldn't want to disrupt his life.
Help! advice please.
if he is single I really think he would be thrilled to hear from me.
Thanks!

I'd send a letter saying that you're visiting the area soon (maybe use your sister as an excuse) and wondered if he'd like to meet for a coffee. Keep it informal so there's no pressure, and send it to the pub unless he still lives at the address you had previously. Might look a little stalkerish to have sniffed out his new private address.

If you do meet up, don't mention that you've been googling him. Not until the second date, anyway!

Thanks so much for that, sounds like good advice.
The pub has had very good reviews that mentions his name as the owner. I live in the same city although it is the other side of town. So I could say that I read the review and wondered if it was the same person, my sisters birthday is in a couple of weeks, so I could have come across it looking for a place to go for lunch for her birthday, it being the nicest pub near where she lives. Obviously we wont actually go there.
Keep the googling a secret, absolutely.
just worried a letter sent to the pub will go astray, but presumably if he lives nearby he visits often and the staff would make sure he would get a personal letter.
I suppose I need to keep the letter short.
Should I say that I have children, I am divorced (ie single) or leave that out so that it's all just friendly.

also what contact details should I give
facebook, phone number, address???

Just a short note on a card should be ok. Maybe write 'personal' on the top left of the envelope so you don't get a snotty 17 year old waiter reading it!! Don't mention your marital status, just say it would be nice to catch up.

Details - address, phone number, email address.

ok thanks so much
I think that sounds good.

Cattleprod - mn at it's best!

boysra -I hope you realise that for many mnetters this could turn into the best soap thread ever...

I'm on the edge of my seat already

Go for it. You have nothing to lose. Good luck x

I would say go with your sister for a drink there, then you can perhaps arrange to meet up with him for a drink, but it wont be like a date.. and then take it from there. He may not be the person you remember him as, 20 years is a long time!. :)

I think a letter is best.

But please- he may be fat, bald and ugly now- be prepared.

Also- brace yourself for no reply. 20 yrs is a long time.

Having said that- do take the chance and report back!

Good luck . x