Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

is my marriage over?

7 replies

izzey · 09/04/2011 20:53

i think my marriage may be over.Its been over two years since we were intimate with each other. He spends all his time playing on his pc.I do everything around the house and i mean everything.Cooking,cleaning,shopping,washing,putting the bins out etc.. we never go out and have no social life.We have only been married for four years this October. This is my second time and his first.He is six years younger than me.I have been to see a solicitor for advice and she is waiting for instructions to proceed.

OP posts:

curiouselle · 09/04/2011 20:56

It sounds like you have already decided your marriage is over if you have taken the step of speaking to a solicitor rather than a relationship counsellor.

Have you spoken to your DH about how you feel or asked how he feels?

Original poster

izzey · 09/04/2011 21:05

He isnt likely to change.This has been going on for the last three years.I have tried to talk to him about spending so much time on the pc but i am only met with a very angry 'if you dont like it then leave' not to mention the bad language. I wonder where the respect for ones spouce is?

OP posts:

garlicbutter · 10/04/2011 01:40

It sounds like he's addicted. The game/s matter more to him than his real life, which ought to include you, does that sound about right?

I'm sorry you're facing up to having married a twunt for the second time. But very glad you're facing it sooner than later - good luck.

I know one ex-wife who joined her husband's game so she could conduct the divorce in an environment he'd engage with!!!

positivesteps · 10/04/2011 02:40

He doesn't sound nice to you. If he's not prepared to work on things then you are better off on your own .. Its disrespectful for him to say ?if you don't like it then leave? but then I don't know the whole story between the two of you. Also could there be anyone else?

TDada · 10/04/2011 07:16

yes, he is addicted. Sorry to hear

Original poster

izzey · 10/04/2011 16:52

No, there is no one else on either side.It was only after a recent bought of very bad language and shouting at me that i whent to see the solicitor. The house is in his name only and i needed to find out what my rights are in the event that i go ahead with a divorce.Which,when i am in a better place financialy,i will probably go ahead with.I will be Fifty in a few weeks and i dont want to live the next few years that same as the last few.Nothing will change unless i am the one to change them.

OP posts:

DELHI · 13/04/2011 13:05

Poor you Izzey! Sounds really awful, but on the positive side, yes, you have to make the change. You sound strong and decided, so put in motion whatever you need to do to get out of this relationship. It doesn't look as if he wants to change or make things different, so you must think of yourself. Are there Dcs involved?

Flip