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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reluctant father after divorce

7 replies

Mrytle · 09/04/2011 16:02

Can anyone help me as to where I can get advice about encouraging a father, who seems reluctant , to see his 11 year old daughter after divorce. Plenty of help for fathers desperate to see their children but nothing about how you get an ex husband to do his share.

OP posts:
juneau · 09/04/2011 16:08

I'm guessing you need to see a solicitor. The initial consultation is often free. The CAB should also be able to help you or point you in the right direction.

gordonbennet · 09/04/2011 16:13

Myrtle I'll follow this with interest because I'm in the same boat. In my experience there is nothing you can do to force a parent to be one.

FabbyChic · 09/04/2011 17:59

Unfortunately you cannot force someone to spend more time with their children after a relationship split, they have to want to.

MrsDmamee · 09/04/2011 18:07

personally I dont think there is anything that can be done to encourage a man to take an active role in parenting after a divorce/separation.
Some want to others dont, all you can do is let him know he can see his DD and she wants to have a relationship with him too.

My own DS is now a teenager and hasnt seen his dad in a longtime he moved abroad with no forwarding address so even if my son wanted to be in touch with him he could'nt.

My ex found it difficult to separate the 2 relationships that we not together anymore but his son was still his son and he needed to maintain that relationship.

I passed on my address each time I've moved through his grandparents and sometimes my DS will recieve a christmas card.
We have now moved abroad too and all I can do is remind my son to keep in touch with his grandparents so they can have a relationship with him.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 09/04/2011 18:27

It's not possible to force someone to see more of a child. It's not a good idea, either: it would probably be even more distressing for a child to spend time with a person who makes it clear that s/he resents the contact and would rather not be there, than it is for the child not to see the adult in question.
All you can really do is reassure your DD that it's not her fault, and that some adults are very selfish in a way that makes them not very good at being parents.

da55 · 09/04/2011 20:30

trust me theres nothing u can do u just have to hope he will even turn up if he makes arrangements.mine doesnt bother but he goes round telling people am stoping him frm seing his kids.

YouaretooniceNOT · 10/04/2011 17:40

da55 - I have a very strong feeling, my sons' father also states the same, bullcrap reasons for his absence, in my sons' life.

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