lost my sex drive!

[ahno]

I have namechanged for obvious reasons so please dont think I am a troll.

I have a lovely, good husband. I think he is hot. He is a genuinely great dad, he goes out of his way to spend time with and do stuff with dd and he does his fair share of house work.

So why have i suddenly lost my sex drive while his is going up? We do still do the deed but i find myself doing it because i know i should rather than really being into it.

Well, that's one up on us - DW doesn't even bother anymore. Try that instead, it's great for a relationship.

Well thats why I am asking for advice on here, I dont want it to get that far. I know it is a problem with me rather than him and I want to sort it.

Anyone got any advice?

What do you think would help you to want sex more?

Have you had a baby recently? Started any kind of medication? ANy changes in the regularity of your AF? Loss of libido quite often has a physical cause, so if there is no psychological reason (you're not angry with your H or developing a crush on another man, you have not experienced a recent trauma or been reminded of something distressing that happened to you in the past) then it's worth having a word with your GP or the local wellwoman clinic.

OP, we need more info.
Are you on any medication?
How old is your dd?
How old are you?
What's your general routine, do you always stay in watching TV or do you have any hobbies, go out from time to time? Do you do anything just for you?
How do you feel about yourself and your physical appearance?

If your dd is still quite small, if you are (both or individually) stuck in a bit of a lifestyle rut, if you are beginning to feel old/fat/frumpy/boring (delete as appropriate) you may well just find your libido flagging. There are solutions to this, but we need to know a bit more about the problem first.

RedGreenBlue, sorry to hear that - does any of the above apply to your DW?

Honestly Toby I really dont know.

I am tired I have a job, which I am not overly fond of but it pays the bills, I do long hours if you include the commute. I have a 2 year old.

I am reluctant to blame it on any of the above as there are millions of women in the world who manage to have a job, dcs AND a sex life.

I am not on any medication. My AFs have always been very irregular. I have not recently had any major changes in the way i percieve myself.

However, thinking about it, sex isnt the only area in my life I lack motivation in. There are quite a few areas i could do with a bit more drive, specifically work and housework.

I dont think I am depressed really. I have been through that many years ago and I dont feel like I am in that dark place. Just lathargic iyswim.

Thanks for the replies

Oh and the work and housework thing. Its not like I dont do them I just have to force myself (much like the sex)

There you go, that answers the question. It is the job and the commute together with small child, and general feeling of lack of motivation. These things are so much more connected for women than they are for men. And much more common than you don't realise - you say millions of women manage to have a job, DC and a sex life but how many of them would openly admit to you that probably 9 times out of 10 they don't fancy it as much as they used to?

I work full time, have a DS (5) and a DS (20 months), we don't get out much because DS2 is a terrible sleeper and it's hard to leave him with a baby sitter. I'm overweight because I have no time to exercise and I eat crap at my desk all day, we don't have much money for me to buy clothes etc so I feel very unsexy. Most nights, given the choice, sleep seems far more appealing to me than sex with my very gorgeous, excellent lover hubby. Sometimes he gets upset about it but he does understand. Most times I accept his advances because it's important to both of us and I do always end up enjoying it (I have to remind myself of that when the comfy duvet and sleep are calling me).

If you can find ways of building more variety and romance into your life it will help, e.g. turn off the TV and listen to music, have a bottle of wine, set the scene - massage each other, or have a bath together. Try to take more 'you' time and you'll feel more sexy.

Yes, sounds like you need more time for yourself and more fun. As well as a little more fresh air and fresh veg. Now that the weather's picking up a bit, try getting outside whenever possible, maybe treat yourself to something fancy in the way of fruit and veg, or a night out.