what a twist(it hurts so much ii)

[da55]

so i was talking to a friend of mine abt my son getting upset bcos a girl said tohim "ur dad is in our house".i was so upset i just coudnt help myself crying.she said she knew the girls mum and she will have a wrd with her just to get her side of the story.we met tday during sch run and she told me she spoke to the woman,apparantly shes finish with him because he is a wierdo,hes been stalking her,texting her even though shes told him she is not interested????????????????.she wonders how i was able to cope with somebody like that for all those years.is been realy difficult for me due to three kids ,it was a hard decision but if ur not in it is hard to understand
i just keep asking myself why did i put up with all the abuse and the humiliation, they will look at me and laugh.thank God i realised sooner than later

I don't think they will laugh. The other woman has already shown some sympathy in wondering how you coped and the fact that you are no longer with him speaks volumes.

I promise you she is not laughing at you. don't worry da55.

Other thing is, it really doesn't matter who thinks what you you. The only opinions that count are YOURS and your DC.

thanks.she came to me this morning when i was droping my son off at sch and told me a lot of things he has said abt me and she said he is obsessed shes always had a feeling something was wrong.i just couldnt believe she was telling me all that.
he called me three times which i ignored so he sent a text that he wants to speak to me,i text back no and then he said i need to get a document frm the house or if i can drop it at his house,i asked him i can post it for him if he tells me what document but he never replied?????????then he sent another text i want to see my kids, u cant stop me frm seing my kids.i havent stop him frm seing them he hasnt even bothered to arrange anything.i guess he wants to call and blame me for everything.

OMG, you are so well shot of him!!

You see? she wasn't laughing at you, she was commiserating with you.

THANKS she was soo nice to me i didnt expect that.

If anyone knows what you have been through, it's her. She probably admires you for putting up with this prize idiot.

thanks agian.can u believe it,he sent a text that i am trying to stop him seing the kids over my own jealousy and trying to destroy his friendship.i just feel like screaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what the hell is he on abt he just wont stop blaming me.

Cut all contact, can you do it through email/text only? Get another phone and just have it for him. He is trying to control you, bully you and intimidate you.

Stop him from doing so. Above all else, don't reply, don't rise to it, stay calm and focussed on what and who is important.

basically hes been calling non stop so i told him to stop it and he said how am i able to see my kids if u dnt answer ur phone or tell me not to call.u are stoping me frm seing my kids and i will take u to court,i didnt reply.he sent another test can u send an email to this company to call me on my mobile please.i said get ur friend or family to do it for u and leave me alone.he replied please but i didnt reply.why cant he leave me alone??????????.will contact my mobile provider on monday if they can change my number(contract).

They will change it for you, tell them you are being harassed.

It's control, abuse and intimidation. Can you get some CAB advice about an injunction to limit contact?

thanks will talk to solicitor too

texting and calling can we talk please.what is there to talk abt?

If he us genuinely unable to separate hassling you from discussing the children, and arrangements to see them, have you considered the contact centre route? That wy he'll have no reason to harass you.

It sounds like now his latest victim DP has dumped him, you're now the target for his craziness attentions. Think of him like a toddler demanding attention by having a tantrum. If you give in and give him the attention he wants, all you'll do is teach him that his tantrums work.

Can you text him back saying that if there's any thing he needs to discuss then he has to do it by email or post? I found emails a lot easier to deal with than phone calls. Not least because you can keep a record of what is discussed.

thanks a lot.another test this morning"i am realy sorry abt the way ive treated over this seperation u are a great mum and always will be"?whatever!

I used to get spates of these kinds of texts from my ex, particularly when she'd just been dumped by her latest victim DP. They were all an attempt to get some attention from me and, ideally, to suck me back into being at her beck and call whenever she felt like it. She can't stand being on her own so whenever she's single she revs up the hoover and tries to suck someone else in to take the place.

The absolute best advice I can give is to ignore, ignore and ignore him some more. Any response you give will be taken as a sign that the hoover's working. If it isn't about contact or money, you are not obliged to talk to him. If it is about contact or money, do it in a letter or by email as that way you can keep it strictly business (and there's a record).

Oh FFS, PLEEEASE tell this guy to Fuck the Fuck OFF! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE? He is such a tool!

Change your number asap da55.

You KNOW you are a great mum, you know you always will be, you don't need this creepy weirdo's opinion!

another test to say he is loosing hes job at the end of the month but will do his best for the kids and he may be homeless.i test sorry to hear that i wish u find another one soon.he is loosing his job due to his iresponsible behaviour and i hope he realised he needs to take responsibilities of his actions.ive told him to email if he wants to see kids 1 week in advance.ive just instructed my solicitor for divorce and nothing will change my mind i will not be a fool for him,he cant eat his cake and have it.

he was buying gifts and giving her money while i had to go tru csa,no christmas or birthday presents for his own kids and he still thinks hes done nothing wrong.he expect me to attend his famillies parties without his help.4hrs journey he and his dad have booked a hotel,not even thought abt where me and kids will stay overnight, is all abt him and if a do not attend he will find something to tell them.ive email to let them knw why i cant attend the party after all they dnt care.

kids were so excited to see their dad tday and it made me upset.i just wish he realised what damage his done to the family but no is all abt him.

he saw kids yesterday and he was telling me abt all the evil things his dad has been saying abt me,he knew frm the start his sons behaviour but yet he thinks hes done nothing wrong.am sooooooooooo angry

da55, you are putting too much importance on what your ex says. You don't know for certain that his dad said the things your ex is saying his dad said and, even if he did, what difference does it make to your life? Your ex's life is now his responsibility. What people say to him is none of your concern. You don't need to hear this. If he starts spreading unpleasant gossip you are not obliged to just stand there and listen to him.

Honestly, the less time you spend talking to him or listening to his bullshit, the happier you will be. But you have to take the lead in putting the phone down, or telling him to leave, or ignoring his texts. As long as he keeps getting the reaction he wants out of you, he'll keep doing this.

He wants your attention. He wants to keep you on a short leash so that if he whistles, you'll come running. If he can't get your attention by being nice he'll try to get it by being nasty. He'll try anything he can think of just to make sure that all your attention is on him. If he thinks he's getting to you then, to him, he's winning.

The only way you can get him to give up is to treat him with indifference mixed with a tinge of boredom. At first you'll have to fake it but it does get easier. Don't listen to the bullshit and don't give him any reaction.

thanks a lot.i try not to take him seriously but i dont know why he and his family are blaming me for everything.

so tired.