Why has my libido taken a nose dive?

[Aworryingtrend]

I wasn't sure whether to put this in Relationships or Health, but opted for here since (I hope) its not a medical problem.

In October 2009 I came off the pill to get my periods regular before starting to TTC. We have no Dcs yet. Whilst I was on the pill I always had a high sex drive with DH and I having sex pretty much every day. however since coming off the pill my libido has just dried up completely.

We are still having sex 2-3 times a week but this is more because I love Dh and desperately want to resurrect this part of our relationship, then actually feeling sexual desire.

I have been to the dr who has ruled out thyroid and other hormone conditions. I have been going to the gym and eating healthily (though was only sz12-14 anyway) so that should be helpig but bizarrely if anyhting I feel like its got worse of late rather than better. I can't understand it as so many people when they are on the pill say that their sex drive increases once they come off the pill but for me its ben the total opposite. I really miss feeling sexual and feeling physical desire and it is upsetting me so much that our once adventurous and fulfilling sex life has dwindled to this. DH is being abolsutely wonderful and we are persevering nonetheless but its just not the same as it used to be.

I'm not on long-term medication though im taking multi-vits and folic acid daly, and I took a course of Norethisterone recently to restart my periods as they hasdnt come back after coming off the pill.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to why it may be happening, and what I can do about it? Are there any herbal remedies, for instance?

I just want the old me back.

Anyone?

Hello there, haven't a clue but don't want to leave you unanswered!

I'm a bit confused and intrigued that you posted in Relationships rather than Health. You say it coincided (exactly?) with coming off the pill, and you ask about herbal remedies - totally health-focused.

Is there something going on with your relationship that you forgot to include in the post? I know my sex drive disappeared after years of troubles with my husband, but that doesn't sound like your case.

The only other thing that I can think of is the TTC element. TTC is a fairly draining process, been there myself, takes so much of the spontaneity out of sex. Is it possible that on a subconscious level something to do with TTC is affecting your libido? Either the spontaneity thing, or are you yourself truly into the idea of having kids?

Shot in the dark there.... sorry not to be of more help.

Thanks for your post Lost. No- genuinely DH and I are very happy together, been together 10 years. Thats true reading my post it is definitely more from a health angle. i think I posted here because I 'know' this board better- I've never posted in health before- and it seemed perhaps a bit of a trivial matter when there are people on there dealing with serious health problems.

Possibly it is the TTC thing- even though I can't imagine not having kids, it doesnt mean I'm not terrified at the propsect and how it will change my life when we do!

AWT - no, it's not cancer, but it's not trivial either. It can end up causing a lot of problems for a relationship, though it's encouraging to hear your DH is handling it well. Post in Health, you've little to lose!

If it is TTC, well, have you discussed with DH everything that having a child will mean for your lives and your relationship? Not that there are potential problems there, perhaps just discussing it can help to refine the picture in your mind and relieve any subconscious anxiety. Let me tell you though, despite all the problems that H and I have had (which, not that I want to make your situation worse, became much more acute after having DS), I can't tell you the beauty DS has brought into my life. It's worth going through pretty much anything.

Good luck with it.

Sounds like it's almost certainly because you are TTC. Subconsciously, you now know that any time you do it could be IT.

BTW, 2-3 times a week - this will probably nosedive even further once you do have DC!