Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

feeling guilty

5 replies

floppops · 05/04/2011 20:06

My ex P and I have been separated since xmas. We have a 14 month DD. We have been in a rental flat in London since DD was a month old.
When we split up he moved into his aunts near by. His aunts patience has now worn thin with him not helping/contributing etc. He now has decided to move back in to our flat. I have always said I would move anyway and I am looking for somewhere now. I have a limited budget and would really love a house with a garden. So I am now considering moving to Suffolk where I have friends and where I could afford a lovely house for me and my DD. But I feel guilty moving away. And I know he will give me a hard time with emotional blackmail etc about it, he wants to get back together with me but I do not for the same reasons we broke up. I still would like him to have a relationship with DD and would consider having him stay on weekends to be with her. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

MigratingCoconuts · 05/04/2011 20:29

no. you are a single mum who needs all the support she can get. Your priority must be your DD and you....

Course he's going to try to emotionally blackmail you but keep your prorities straight.

Good luck

itsohsoquiet · 05/04/2011 20:54

What migrating said.
DD is your priority now and if you think you can give her a better quality of life by moving then go for it.

By the way I am in Suffolk and it is only 1 hour 15 minutes from London on the train so hardly the other end of the country!

springydaffs · 06/04/2011 19:10

I think it's ok for you to move to be near your support system, and somewhere you can afford. Though why would you let him stay when he visits? Confusing for dd (?) also a bit strange when he is a bit of a nightmare. If he wants a relationship with his daughter then maybe he can get his life sorted out so he can accommodate that. Have you let him move back in? I wouldn't if I were you.

suburbophobe · 06/04/2011 19:33

He realises what he's lost now, don't let his emotional blackmail sway you!

Do what you have to do for you and your DD, you'll be much better off!

Original poster

floppops · 06/04/2011 20:51

Yes springydaffs I agree maybe letting him stay might not be the best idea. I'm not sure how to arrange access with him being in London though. At the moment he comes over every morning before he goes to work and is here all weekend during the days too. I don't know really what to do for the best for everyone contact wise. TBH I feel a bit sorry for him which after the difficult time I've had due to his behaviour is confusing to me. At the moment DD is too young too be confused about all our comings and goings although I think she would respond better to a solid routine-if he can stick to one that is.

OP posts:

Flip