Mothering Sunday - moving thread here, too, as advised.

[StickleTick]

As advised by other MNers, here are the bones of a thread I started elsewhere today:

1 Who else out there can't stand mother's day, in relation to their own mother?
2 Why must we send cards, which never say the truth, like: "I used to get so hungry and headachey, when you didn't feed me that I'd disappear into the cupboard and eat dry dog biscuits. And when you eventually found me, you'd laugh"?

Our Mum denies we had a bad childhood. She thinks we [my 2 sisters and I] are self-indulgent if we complain. For Mothering Sunday she expects lunch out, and wall-to-wall charm! We did take her out yesterday. [She never goes anywhere otherwise,] but, while I bought her drinks, and everything else, I made her pay for her food. It was a bit of a point, especially cos she chose the most expensive dish on the menu. I've not been so adamant before, and she was very much nose put out!

So, ... Here are my other questions?
3 - Why do I still feel guilty and a bit sad? Even if my stand is mostly for self-preservation?
4 - How many other MNers feel that there must come a time when you can stop treating your mother on MS, because she hasn't deserved it?
Thanks,

are you on the statley homes thread,if you arent,i think you'd benifit from it....i lurk,but i havent posted yet....

I have read other threads where mumsnetters have had relationships with their mothers like this. It sounds like a toxic relationship and generally the best advice seems to be to avoid as much contact as possible with your mother.

I know where you're coming from. My mum was an alcoholic fuck up for most of my life. I used to dread mothers' day because the 'best mum ever' sentiment was so false. She was a rubbish mum.

Now that she's dead I dread mothers' day because I miss her and a wrought with grief over the relationship we never had.

Mothers' day can go and fuck itself, basically.

I have always loathed Mothers Day due to the fact that my 'mother' disowned me when I was 4 after 4 years of phyical and emotional abuse. Some of which I remember, like stealing bread at night because I was so hungry and when she found out, she locked me in the cupboard at 2 years old.

Now I look at it as my day with my wonderful children.

To those above, I really wouldn't bother. A shit mother deserves nothing for mothers day and if they think differently, they should be told a few home truths for the appalling way they treated their children.

OP have it out with your mum. Don't let her get away with having treated you like that. No way. And if that means no more Mother's Day Mrs Nice Guy then so bloody be it.

So sorry to hear crapbag about that. So glad though to hear you have wonderful children and have been able to overcome your dreadful start in life. Sometimes MN makes me cry. Espesh when due on first period after giving birth 6 months ago.