I ended the relationship last night. It's been a long time coming.
Basically we had been seeing each other for 4 weeks, he wanted to finish things and ten we found out I was pregnant. That was 5 years ago since then we have had another baby, moved house many times, to be closer to my family, then to be closer to his. We have tried really hard to make it work.
However we don't make each other happy. He has been abusive at worst, and generally unhelpful, unsupportive, critical... I don't know. He just doesn't like me.
It has been hard for me to come to terms with my children not growing up with their mum and dad together. My parents split when I was young and I was so determined not to do that. Of course now I've come to accept what's best is a happy healthy home. Our son has special needs and he has been particularly unhelpful with this! It has upset me, but now I really have let go. I wasn't going to write any of the above but I realised anyone reading this would need some context.
So, basically, we've been miserable for 5 years, trying to make it work for the kids, but it hasn't. He also has 2 much older children from a previous relationship so it's been a demanding time as well.
Last night we spoke and agreed it was for the best, that we would miss each pother, even that we loved each other, but not the right kind of love. I'm happy to leave it at that. We don't need to shout and blame and fight now. Just be practical about moving on.
That's one of the reasons I can't be with him though. Emotionally he is so very immature. Last night I really thought things would be ok, just one more week of school, then I was going to my mums for the easter holidays. This morning has been a different story though.
He asked me what was happening, said the ball was in my court, I said we should talk about it tonight. Then we've both had a chance in the day to think about what we need to sort out and start making plans. I then said I would need to talk to my mum first because I'm going to be moving into her house initially. He wouldn't let me go and get the kids ready for school, and says he didn't know what I was talking about 
. I explained that I was answering the question he'd asked me. He didn't even get this.
Sorry, I know that is a petty little thing but I wanted to show how he can be.
Basically he is an intelligent man, who has had a hard childhood (abused, and also nelgected in parts) he has never grown up emotionally. Now he smokes cannibis so he is either disengaged from reality, or when he hasn't got any he is volatile. Blames women for all his problems. Shouts to intimidate me and his children. He's now saying I've used him up, got what I wanted now I'm off. My life has been shit! I can't afford to go anywhere or see anyone, I left my friends to live closer to his family. I walk 30 miles a week taking kids to and from school and extra things for my sons sn. I certainly haven't 'gained' from this relationship (apart from my children of course).
I could really do with some techniques or even just general advice to get through this week please
How can I respond to just keep him calm, stop him taking it all out on me. Already he is becoming incoherent and contradicting himself. When I make sense in response and he doesn't like my answer he claims he doesn't know what I'm talking about, makes out I have started the conversation.
Sorry it's so long. Hope I've made sense.