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Relationships

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Original poster

Divorce unreasonable behaviour advice

4 replies

lifeshock · 02/04/2011 11:46

Hi everyone
I have been split from my ex for 3 months and have decided I need to make a clean break and get a divorce. We have two children. He left me and has behaved really badly since. I am pretty sure he left me for someone else but can't prove it so can't get him on adultery.
I really don't want to wait two years for separation so was going to cite unreasonable behaviour. Is it basically making a list of all the things he has done wrong in the marriage? Can I count things he has done after we separated? What kind of things did other people cite? Can he contest the things in the list? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

OP posts:

garlicbutter · 02/04/2011 15:33

Caveat: It's ten years since I did this, things might have changed.

After you separated doesn't count if you're legally separated (have started the divorce proceedings). If you just mean you've been living apart but are still married, the behaviours would count. Your cited behaviours must have been happening in the past six months iirc, so get a move on.

People often misunderstand unreasonable behaviour. It's therre as a get out of jail free card; they don't have to be AWFUL behaviours, just ones that you can't live with and your spouse won't fix. People have divorced on grounds of heavy snoring, cooking fish when the spouse can't stand the smell of it, and overcooking the veg. Just find something - anything - you really can't live with, then use that. You can put "daily criticism over trivial things", which would cover most failing marriages.

Check this with a lawyer or a divorce website :) Good luck!

prh47bridge · 02/04/2011 16:30

The simplest thing, assuming your ex is happy to divorce, is to agree a list of allegations with him. As long as the divorce is not contested the allegations don't have to be terribly strong.

medicalmayhem · 02/04/2011 18:09

i would book a free 30 min session with a solicitor, most offer it and write down some of your questions and find out how you can handle this! good luck.

garlicbutter · 02/04/2011 18:15

When I gave my X a divorce petition listing what I considered a very mild, edited version of my complaints, he went ballistic and said HE was going to divorce ME. He then got a new petition and wrote a very long complaint that painted me as a controlling, jealous, vicious lunatic. I agreed to what he wrote, divorce proceeded, job done

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