Had a row with dh last night - which he started - and I have woken up not liking him much.

[MrsStudMuffin]

We talked last night but I still feel vulnerable and like I can't let him near me. What do you do after a row that gets things back to being normal and good?

Let a bit of time pass and then talk again. Is it a case where you feel an apology is owed and he hasn't given one? You say you've talked - but it clearly isn't resolved.

Do you think it was 'just a row' or is there more to this? Did you feel scared last night?

It must have been a serious row if you feel vulnerable and protective!

He did apologise. I feel like this whenever I row with anyone. I don't bear grudges but it takes me a while to feel normal again. I always feel less than them and can't act normal until I know where I am.

Poo. Just come out of the shower and there is a box of flowers on the bed. Mother's day gift I am assuming. I am going down to see him.

Mothers day is tomorrow. Surely they're an apology. Hope you get it sorted - I can totally identify with not feeling normal yet. Sometimes I feel like the foundations have been shaken a bit after a big row, and I need time to be sure of myself and to allow myself to feel secure again. I don't know why, it just seems to be my way, but your post really rings bells. Good luck.

DH and I rarely argue (once or twice a year - yes really) so I always feel unsettled afterwards and like I don't know who he is.

My friends who regularly argue with their DHs can't understand it at all.

No advice other than let time pass - usually helps for me.

Did you grow up seeing your parents argue much? Mine never did, and that left me feeling really scared and vulnerable after arguments, I always thought it was the end of the world.
Really depends what it was about (consciously and unconsciously). Hope you feel back to normal soon!

So reassuring to feel others feel the same. I thought I was strange. The flowers are for Mother's Day and are beautiful.

We have talked. It was a bit of a misunderstanding as well as insecurities on both parts.

He is going to the GP as he isn't well so priorities restored. I just hate the shaky feeling afterwards.

Thank you for your help.

No, I didn't grow up seeing my parents argue as I never ever saw them together.

Could be, in that case, that it's more about your reaction to the whole dispute thing than that his method of arguing is particularly scary. In a healthy relationship people should be able to disagree, even argue quite strongly, without it in any way impacting on their feelings for each other. That doesn't make you weird though. Some people don't do conflict whilst others thrive on it.

Brilliant that you are both able to discuss it calmly afterwards and come to an understanding.

Neither of us thrive on arguments. It makes us both feel rubbish. I just want a cuddle.

I'm the same as you OP, DH and I argue rarely and he can move on from them really quickly but it always takes me a few days for stop feeling really unsettled and shaken.

I think it's getting older-in my teens and twenties I used to love a good row but now I hate any disagreement, with anyone-except on MN of course!

The row was about something we have rowed about that I had done before and DH thought I had done again but hadn't. He didn't react well but we have all been out together and once the kids are in bed later we will cuddle up under a blanket and watch telly together. DH is cooking dinner as we are having Mother's Day today due to me taking DD to hospital tomorrow.