how do we get the spark back...?

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We have two DSs, one is just over 4mths old. DH and I have not had sex since I found out I was pg (I was bleeding, had previous miscarriages etc, so I was too petrified). So that's now over a year...
I feel like I'd happily never have sex again - I'm always exhausted and just can't be bothered, frankly. I also feel like my body isn't mine any more (bfeeding), and it almost feels wrong, in some way. Weird. I'm well aware that hormones are also playing a big part in this. The back story is that when ds1 was 2yo, we nearly split cos we were growing further apart, and I remember that this is how that situation all started. So my mind clearly goes a bit mad after I have a baby!
DH is a good person, who loves me and DSs, so that's not the problem.
The longer this goes on, the more of a big deal it'll become. I need to know how to get the spark back! When DH comes home from work and gives me a kiss, I turn so we kiss each other on the cheek. If he cuddles up in bed, I freeze. I mean, WTF?! He has put on weight over the winter, which also really bugs me, although I haven't told him this (I'm not a COMPLETE cow).
What do I do to a) stop me being selfish, b) help me appreciate that I've got a great dh, and c) stop me thinking so negatively about being intimate again?

:(

Give yourself a bit more time, I'd say: it's only four months from having the baby and you've a lot of demands on your body.

Do you freeze up when he cuddles up because you think he wants sex or because he repulses you? If it's the latter it's more worrying, but if it's the former, I'd perhap agree with him to take sex off the agenda for a while and try to get back to cuddles and intimacy without that pressure.

I think it's likely it's just temporary, so keep talking and show affection in different ways.

It's normal to feel like you do. I was like this after both my babies. We have always had a 'feast or famine' type sex life. To be honest it's only made a definate turn for the better over the last few years. We're both less tired, more comfortable in with our bodies and have time to be together as a couple. The bad news is that it's taken a long time. My girls are 17 and 13, dh has had the snip and now we have sex just because we want to.
I feel for you but it will get better

Thanks for the kind words.
No, dh doesn't repulse me, I freeze cos I don't want to have sex, and actually I don't even want to have to discuss it! He irritates me though, atm, due to the usual new-baby disagreements type of thing, and this doesn't help either. I just keep wondering what my problem is, cos ds2 sleeps well, and he's not a huge amount of bother - I could understand it if I never had a second to myself etc, but that's not the case