DH had a 2 month affair with a colleague which I found out about this time last year. We decided to repair our family and here we are a year on. Things have gone relatively well and we have made gradual progress with some backwards steps, but mostly forwards. I am a SAHM (at the time, both DCs had yet to start school, I still have one home with me full time now). At the time, I felt that the OW was poised to step into my life and basically take everything. I envisaged her sleeping with my husband, taking my children on days out, visiting my husband's family and basically filling my shoes. I was also very stressed at the probability of my DCs being away from me overnight regularly (they were 3 and 1 at the time) going to stay with DH and OW. I was also very worried about how I would look after the DCs financially. I was worried about having to move house (didn't care about value/size of house, just didn't want to move out of my home because it's my home).
Anyway, all this is in the past, but I still get very stressed and uptight about stupid things (which are unrelated to DH). eg if DS needs to bring something to school for a particular day, I will be overly stressed about forgetting it and DS being upset about it. Just everyday trivial stuff. I never actually end up forgetting the stuff! I have been like this ever since I found out about the affair and whilst we make loads of progress on our marriage, I don't make progress with these little stresses. When I actually found out, I was relatively calm (suppose I was in shock), but after a couple of days, my heart started beating fast and I just felt constantly stressed. Now I just feel stressed about these little things when they occur. Stressed that I will forget to post something in time etc.
What is the matter with me?! How can I fix it?
(Will be at computer on and off)