Anyone else's dh have childish strops?

[CeliaFate]

He came home from work tonight. Said hi, chatted, everything fine. Served tea - organic burger and home made wedges. Immediate strop. Cue me, "what's wrong?" No response. Huffed and puffed throughout tea, I ask, "what's wrong?" He replies "I want to be left alone, that's what's wrong" WTF? I am beyond furious that he acted like this in front of the dc and want to murder him. I can only think that he's annoyed because I served burger and chips effectively and he's trying to exercise and lose weight. Why couldn't he have said that FFS?!

in answer to your OP, no

is he always so passive-aggressive ?

Not always, but can be. Why he can't just come out and say what's bugging him I don't know. I'm still livid that he can be such a twat.

No.

I don't behave that way, so won't tolerate it from adults.

he would rather make you feel like shit, than just be honest

you feel like shit, right ?

he did that

lovely

Yes, he did make me feel like shit. I am so mad I can't bear to look at him and certainly don't want to speak to him. When he's in this mood (thankfully rare) I want to smash his face in. (Guess that makes me passive aggressive too?!)

well, yes it does

because if you swallow your rage at him, and don't pull him up on his crappy behaviour, you just internalise it

which makes you a martyr

which is also really shit and makes you no better than him, tbh

stop venting to us, and make him understand you are not his whipping boy when he is feeling shit

Thought that was the point of MN - to vent?

if you want to see it like that, yes

it won't actually help you though will it?

unless you want to maintain the status quo

Christ, glad I posted here looking for support and sympathy!

My husband has childish strops.
I can either get worked up about them and let him make me feel bad, or I can sit on the other side of the room, keep myself occupied and inwardly laugh every time he huffs and puffs because it's actually rather pathetic.

Personally, I find option 2 works better - it's like when a child has a tantrum, you ignore them, and they eventually run out of steam and realise that nobody else is as bothered as them.

yanbu. he is being a total knob. and ungrateful as dinner sounded lovely!

Ivy it's so pointless though isn't it? I know it's learned behaviour as his dad was exactly the same, but that's no excuse. How do you resolve it?

I ignore just the same as when the children do it.
DH is the master mind you. He can sulk for weeks. I mostly laugh, at the same time wondering why I dont just sling him out the door!

Erm if he's trying to lose weight, why did you make him something quite high in fat? Couldn't you have grilled him a bit of chicken alongside the burgers and given him salad with his instead of the wedges?

He is being ridiculous and childish to behave like this, but if he's on a diet surely you should be supporting him?

I think you're right that he pulled the whole Greta Garbo (I want to be alone) thing because he didn't want to say "why the hell have you given me burger and chips when you know I'm trying to lose weight?".

But if he'd actually said that, you'd have felt like shit - are you sure it wasn't a cackhanded way of sparing your feelings?

Celia, like PeterAndre has already said, the way you take steps towards resolving it (if it indeed can be resolved) is to pull him up on his childish shit.

Sure, you can vent here, but the whole time he behaves like that towards you and you don't say anything, nothing is ever going to change.

only advice i can give is to be very direct with your dh. i do this with mine when he is being a twat. i will say something like 'i am perfectly willing to accomodate you if you want a low fat dinner option but please tell me in advance, i am not psychic.'

If he doesn't like what you cook, make dinner for you and DCs and he can make his own

He'll eat burger and chips if we go out for lunch though. It was grilled organic meat and home made wedges - baking potatoes sliced and oven baked in a bit of olive oil and a ciabatta roll. Not exactly Mcdonald's, but I take the point. If I need/want something I ask for it or I get it myself - why can't he do that instead of being a twat?

I did ask him what's wrong but he refused to converse with me. Then he went off upstairs and hasn't come down. Sigh. Either I go looking for him or he'll sulk until he gets over it.

celia, I am not sure how you see my posts as anything less than supportive

unless you only want there-there's and platitudes like "Men ! Aren't they shit !"

you won't get that from me

what you will get is urging to stand up for yourself as someone worthy of respect

whining uselessly to anonymous strangers won't get you respect from your husband, unless you are prepared to do something about it

Sounds healthy enough to me.

My husband knows he's acting like a knob, and he normally apologises if I ignore him for long enough. I have told him that he's acting like a big child, and it took a while, but it got through to him. doesn't stop him doing it, but I like to think it made him a bit more self-aware.

My dh decided he want's to really annoy me doesn't like chicken. He won't eat it at home unless it's Sainsburys Southern Fried Chicken strips. Anything else is a no even homecooked chicken. If we go round friends for dinner he loves chicken he's a bloody PITA and I'm fed up of it. The other night he ended up with only potato and veg and then complains that I spend a fortune on food and he only gets baked beans. P.S. We have been married for years and have 2 DC's and family meals round the dining table with this problem. The new one is 'I don't want that.......I'm not hungry anyway' It's like having a toddler again.