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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sister with an ex...

9 replies

olive07 · 31/03/2011 18:58

So...would it bother you if you were with someone who had been in an 'intimate' relationship with your sister? My sister and I used to be quite close. I dated a guy in NZ and then come to London years after where he was, resumed the relationship, I broke it off we remained friends, he was going back to nz - with a job where my sister was working, told him must meet her etc, next thing I know she is having an affair with him (her partner away working) and then they are together. Nothing has been mentioned by her/him it's just an always generally uncomfortable 'vibe' when we are in the same room. I have no issues but feel like I am the 'bad one' as nothing has ever been said (a good example of 'sweeping it under the carpet') I just wonder if she does - I know I would if roles were reversed. How would others feel, just want to know what the general consensus is on this sort of thing...

OP posts:
zikes · 31/03/2011 19:02

I think I'd find it very peculiar, but at least you were over before the two of them got together.

Know a family where the elder sister ran off with her sibling's fiance. They got married instead. Somehow the family came through it all still talking.

Dozer · 31/03/2011 20:02

I think it's out of order of them both, and odd that your sister didn't speak to you about it, poor you.

olive07 · 31/03/2011 20:43

Thank you Dozer - I think so too, it's just such a strange situation, last time seeing him we were 'lovers' then next time hes with my sister and not a mention, like this is just normal life...it's just a little too close to home!

zikes - we are all talking (albiet strained) I just wish my sister or ex had of perahps said someting as opposed to pretending it never happened and making me feel like shite.

OP posts:
HorseWhisperer · 31/03/2011 21:50

You did nothing wrong. Your sister either does not care what you think or does care but may be finding it difficult to broach the subject. Either way it is not you, you did nothing wrong and you should not feel awkward (easier said than done, I know).

I'm not surprised that you feel horrible about it.

LeroyJethroGibbs · 31/03/2011 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

olive07 · 01/04/2011 10:10

Ha ha! That's it not my style either - the thought of 'sloppy second's' springs to mind Wink.

Anyway all happened years ago, still plays on my mind how weird it is. I know my sister is quite the jealous type so I'm sure she must have a few issues with it!

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 01/04/2011 20:08

Ewww I think it's really weird tbh.

MizzyDizzy · 01/04/2011 20:12

My sister had a relationship with an ex of mine...until now I thought it was just me that thought this type of relationship was a bit yukky... nice to realise my radar isn't completely goofed up by my dysfunctional upbringing!

mouseface · 01/04/2011 20:17

It's a little bit like the 'best' friend who goes out with your ex not that long after you split.

Always makes me think Hmm

There is a line........... don't cross it.

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