Wow, didn;t think I'd be sat here writing this but I guess I need some help from some wise people whose faces I can't see.
I'm very confused atm.
Sat here 12wks preg. with our 2nd baby (1st is 10months)
DP and I have been happy together until recently. Since we found out we're having our 2nd really.
Our occasional arguments have turned into an almose weekly cycle.
He insists on fighting with me in front ofour son and calling me horrible names (a knob this morning...twice) I try to argue back (i am more articulate than he is which frustrates him) and he ALWAYS walks out. Is this a control thing?
I think it's all about sex. We haven't had it in 8 days (shock horror) I don't ever feel up for it when in my 1st trimester - just feel sick and emotional.
I will except that I can be emotionally fragile. But he just shouts at me when I tell him I'm finding things difficult, tells me nothing in my life is hard. When i feel fragile and he shouts at me i retreat further which makes him more mad. I can't win.
But for example we had people over for sunday lunch, family and friends we hadn't seen in ages. They left and he complained that I had passed him my plate at the end of the meal in a "dismissive fashion" he moaned that he didn't get enough food and barely spoke all through lunch.
Last night i got home from work, everyone was in bed, I was chatting to my brother who i hadn't spoken to in months and telling him about our new house. He shouted at me, twice, from our bedroom to keep the noise down as i was waking the house up. I have never done this before, it just seemed like reason to moan at me.
He stand over me and tells me how to do things when he's here. But yet he doesn't do it himself.
I feel confused and like i can't do anything right, i get the feeling he feels similarly.
I want to make plans for the future (save for a house? book a holiday? plan some weekends away) but he is resistant to plans as he likes to be spontanious. Yet he does NOTHING spontaneous for us, oh actually, he bought me flowers the day after i found out i was pregnant with our 2nd.
It all just feels so petty. How do we pull ourselves back from this?
I want to spend more time with him but i work evenings and weekends so we're limited and we can only do things if we....make PLANS!
I can't see how having another baby is going to help this situation, it seems it will only fuel our ever growing distance from one another.
He won't sit and talk about anything, he won't change his behaviour - he is not adaptable. AIBUR??
I feel very sad about all this and not sure I can carry on.