What's the right thing to do?

[ItsGrimUpNorth]

SIL suddenly in hospital with blood clot. She has 3 dcs - they must be very frightened. They live 300 miles away.

SIL and I loathe each other. But obviously, I don't wish her ill or anything like that.

So, what is best? Flowers and a card wishing her better as soon as I know the ward? Offering help where I can e.g. grocery delivery etc. I mean, I can't ignore this and pretend something awful hasn't happened just because she isn't a particularly nice person.

ItsGrimUpNorth - how about a card/flowers and a message 'what can I do to help?'. Make a couple of suggestions such as arranging groceries and give her a contact number for you eg mobile which she can use without having to speak to you.

Hard to say without knowing the situation. Are you just on bad terms with her? Ie do you keep in touch with her H & DC? Is there a 'go between' who gets on with both you & SIL? If so maybe you could ask them if they think there's anything you can do. Or if you get on ok with her H, as him.

Hope all works out ok

Don't really keep in touch with her. Or my brother except at Christmas, gps birthday parties etc. No contact really if I'm honest. But I wouldn't want my brother to think I wished him, her or his dcs ill in times of need.

Although I wouldn't want to wind her up by my name in sending her flowers. Or groceries to the house in case she thought I was taking the p*ss. She's returned birthday presents I've sent her to Amazon before, making sure I was informed by Amazon she'd returned them.

So, it turns out it's not a blood clot or pneumonia or a heart attack as she posted it might be on her FB page.

It's a strained muscle between the ribs. . She's now back home. I'm glad her dcs have their mum back.

Well that's good news. I find the idea of stopping to post on FB that you may have a life-threatening condition before heading off to the hospital a bit tho!