How to let them done gently?

[nonamesavalible]

Background my H left me a month ago but we are (as of tonight) on friendly terms.
Since splitting up with H I have had several male friends try it on with me but I haven't obviously been interested and I still ain't, However one guy who I met through H a few months back has been messaging me on facebook, asking how I am coping etc and on a whole being nice but tonight he has asked if he can bring a bottle of wine round one night and a dvd so we can get to know each other properly on night next week, and I have panicked, I think he is a nice guy (a bit of a player but nice) but I think it would be very awkward as he knows my H and it's probably too soon to do anything like that (I think??).
Any suggestions on how to let him down?

Damn it TITLE: Down not Done

Just tell him it's too soon?

It's one thing being asked out somewhere public, but wanting to come round to your home - it just makes me think he's going to try it on. If you don't want that, you need to say no - no, I'm not comfortable with that, ta.

Don't try to sugar-coat it too much, he might just take that as 'keep trying'. Unless you want him to keep trying.

You don't owe him an explanation of your reasons either.

"No thanks perhaps another time" should do it.

Keep repeating if necessary!

Never apologise, never explain is a very good rule where a perfectly reasonable response is given.

Thank you, this is all new to me haven't been single since I was 14 so I'm unsure on etiquette.

Oh FGS, why do they do this? a MONTH?

Your instinct is right, this guy is a player and is sniffing for a cheap shag. Cos as you are dumped and desperate, you won't keep him waiting too long.

When my dad left, all his friends came out of the woodwork to see if they could try it on with her.

Tell him you are off men, and are trying WOMEN for a while....

He sounds a sleaze - so you can "get to know each other properly" . I think be flattered, be firm, say you're not interested.

Just say, 'I don't think so, thanks.' No further explanation is necessary.
If he keeps asking, just repeat the same sentence. If he asks for an explanation, just say, 'The answer is no.'
If he's basically a player, he will probably give up and move on. If he tries to pressure you, don't be afraid to be a bit rude.
And if he turns up despite you having said you don't want him to, shut the door in his face.

TBH a man who wants to come to your house when you barely know him is either socially inept, thoughtless or dodgy.