So your OH gives you a pressie that was originally bought for another woman

[AlicesChains]

Please try and imagine the scenario:

You and your OH are going through a rocky patch and decide to call time on the relationship. He moves out and not long after, tries to seduce another woman by buying her a rather expensive gift. She refuses it saying it is innapropriate as they hardly know each other. He's stuck with it.

He doesn't know that you know this!!

A couple of months down the line you both talk and agree to give thing another go, albiet slowly and remaining living seperately. You then find out he his planning to give you the gift he bought for the other woman for your birthday and as he doesn't realise you know - he expects you to be over the moon with it!

So how would you handle this?? Tell him before hand not to give you anything that was orginally bought for someone else and hope he twigs on?? Tell him when he gives you it that you're a little offended he gave you something that another woman didn't want?? Or just accept the gift and say nothing??

Depends on what it is.

Tell him that there's recycling and then there's taking the piss....

if its something you would really like
take the gift and then boot him out the door for being a prat

I tell him prior to my birthday that if he's thinking of giving me whatever-it-is then expect a huge kick ass tantrum from me.

I would want the item out of my house to a charity shop.

What is it?

Tantrum now, definitely.

how did you find out that the gift was intended for OW?

Sorry OP but he sounds like such a knobend based on what you've said that I couldn't try to get back together with him anyway, much less accept a gift that was meant for kick-starting an affair (I'm assuming, perhaps wrongly, that you are married).

(I'd love to know what it is)

What is it?

Accept the gift, but kick off about the circumstances and demand he gets you something else as well

Just bring it up in conversation that you know about the gift he bought the potential OW, without relating it to your birthday. Hopefully he'd get the hint without you spelling it out how unacceptable it is.

Probably best not to be too subtle though! Goodness knows what goes on in the head of someone who thinks that's ok.

There wasn't actually an OW situation though was there? OP and her DP broke up and he asked someone else out. Nothing wrong there IMO.

My answer does depend on what it is, if it is a diamond ring or underwear or something then take it back and get me something new. If it is a Maserati, well I could probably overlook the insensitivity.

We need to know what it is?

I'm so impressed at how much you know about this man without him knowing!

I'd accept it, then ask, 'and what did you buy me for my birthday? This is what you bought X isn't it?' I'd just want to see his face. Priceless.

I'd conclude he was a twat and re-think my decision to give it another go

Why would you want 2nd hand cast-offs ?

I am talking about h bloke, not the gift

Is the reason he is happy to give it another go because he couldn't get a shag from anyone else ?

the bloke

Doesn't this just indicate that the guy is tight? Lots of men my OH are skinflints. There are worse character flaws. I can imagine my unromantic very pragmatic DP thinking, 'I already have the perfect gift! No shopping or spending! Woo hoo!' and not even momentarily considering the insensitivity of that.

Depends how much of a break they were on, how long after before he started pursuing her, whether he had his eye on her in the first place. Hence the "potential".

Not really relevant though is it? Still not appropriate.

Really need to know what the gift is

If it's a good gift I'd be very tempted to accept it, keep it and promptly dump him. I'm petty like that.

Seriously, no matter how much he's spent on this gift it still stinks he's giving it to you for your birthday because the original recipient refused to accept the gift and shag him. What the hell is it? He couldn't have taken it back for a refund/store credit? ebayed it? given it to his mum/sister for their birthday or whatever is far more acceptable given the circumstances.

I would kill him, no jury in the land would convict me they would all conclude he died because of darwinism.

Tell him beforehand - that's the fair thing to do. More details OP please. What is the gift? And how did you find out?

Ask him for the receipt, then point out that he bought it whilst you were separated and ask why he bought it. Then see if he tells the truth.

I would not accept it - the sentiment behind it would be all wrong. The gift would not be "for me" in the sense that he had chosen something he thought I would like. Rather, it would be a convenient way of dealing with the consequences of an expensive mistake. I would tell him I did not want it, either he buys me a birthday present intended to be for me or he buys me nothing at all. The lack of consideration behind what he proposes to do would bother me a lot.

I expect he will say "but we were on a break"

How very Jeremy Kylee stylee

i thought it was Ross from Friends favourite quote when he split from Rachel!!!!