Hopefully a helpful thread to someone. What did/do you do to get over someone when a relationship is over?

[FourFortyFour]

Especially if it wasn't mutual and there are still feelings. I can't help my friend as I don't know myself .

Well, there's all the usual things (keeping busy etc) but the one that always helped me the most was - get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds you of him; photos, cards, mementoes - EVERYTHING. Burn it.

I did that with one guy and it helped but then my feelings for him were not strong once he hit me. Actually they weren't there at all. I

I made a list of all his charecter flaws , and all his other issues and asked myself if id even date him knowing what i know about him.

Cleaned the house from top to bottom and got a good lodger.

Bought new bedding.

Got the job he said I was too thick for.

Enjoyed the lack of BO in the house.

Eventually, after a couple of years, got a nice boyfriend.

Cut off all contact, put all joint photos etc away, keep busy and do all the things that you used to love doing when you were single. Most important for me is to recognise that I'll feel crap for a bit, and allow myself time to grieve for the end of the relationship. It can be tempting to spiral down into self-hatred if you were dumped by someone you still have feelings for, but you need to treat yourself kindly.

I went out with my mates, to a pub I knew he was going to be at, made sure I looked a million dollars, and spent the night laughing and having fun and completely ignoring him.

I booked a holiday with one of my best friends and I made sure I lived my social life to the full, so that I didnt spend much time on my own dwelling on it, or being tempted to get in touch with him.

It didnt take him long to come chasing after me, and I smiled sweetly and said "forget it, I am moved on, you did me a favour, thanks :) ".. it killed me to say it, but it also made me feel great too.

Sold my wedding and engagement ring and a hideous necklace he bought me and bought myself a beautiful bracelet.

Surrounded myself with fabulous and loving friends, who I knew wouldn't mind me sobbing down the phone to them at 3am.

Lost weight and got a glamorous haircut.

am watching this with interest........

I moved house, actually I also got rid of all my old furniture too, I know that sounds very extreme but all my 'new' furniture was second hand but it was mine, so now my house and my belongings are mine and I'm paying for everything.

I also wrote a list of all the things I liked about being on my own and stuck it on my fridge :)

hmm all good tips...

I am still at the stage of relationship freshly over (one week). 3 kids. Husband being an angry arse BUT

I am making myself feel better by remembering who i was 11 yars ago. What my interests are. What I enjoy doing. Making the plans that he never wanted to discuss.

I am enjoying the peace and the lack of arguing. I am enjoying not having tp pick up after and look after a 4th big kid!

I am enjoying not having to walk on eggshells anymore and to BE who I am!

Hope that helpsX

I felt a huge feeling of relief that I could be who I am.

It was silly things really, like listening to music I liked, doing things I liked, seeing friends I liked.

But mostly, it was time. It just takes time to get over the hurt and the shock and really about looking after yourself as well as you can to get better. Also recognising that it takes time and it's not going to happen overnight.

I had a few relationships. One technically wasn't finished so that is a bit funny, some I never looked back once I said I was off. One is just never going to be got over. And now I am married.

Reminded myself constantly that I deserved better than to be abused.

Got rid of all the reminders - everything.

Eventually broke ALL contact.

Decided I would prove all the horrible stuff he had told me was rubbish, ie I was thick - so joined college and have a place in uni in September doing a law degree :) (point proved there I think!)

Lost weight, made new friends, but most of all enjoying the freedom :)

Deleted him on facebook, took his number out of my phone.
Did an evening course, joined gym.
Those were the things that helped most in the immediate aftermath.

Yes, definitely agree with whoever said reminding yourself of what you like and who you are. I now play country music loudly and cook lots of mackerel. Two things I love but my ex hated. Ok, it's not really an enormous "fuck you" gesture but it makes me happy...

I'm not over my H by a long shot, he's only been gone 3 weeks, but I do enjoy having the house to myself. Not worrying if it's tidy or not. Cooking what I like, watching what I like. I completely echo the sentiment that H was like having a 4th kid around!

I need to write down everything that's happened, everything he's done, everything he's proved himself to be. On paper, who would want to be married to a man like that? No one person in their right mind would choose my H for a partner (which obv speaks volumes about the OW ).

Like this thread. Keep it coming! How did you get over them when you still had to see them a few times a week for the DCs?

My advice would be to keep it cool and professional like and emotions in check. It must be very hard .