Partner being very unsupportive

[Loulou757]

Hi there, I've been having a few problems with my partner an just wanted to know if anyone else has been through the same problem or can offer any advice. Basically, I had a baby 6 weeks ago and my partner has been making things worse for me, rather than trying to make things easier on me. I've struggled straight away after giving birth with urine infections, breasfeeding problems which lead to mastitis so have been feeling pretty under the weather anyway. 2 weeks after having our baby we had an argument because he wanted to go to his parents for the whole day where as i wanted to get back home within a couple of hours to feed our baby because I wanted to be comfortable in my own home as she wasn't feeding properly. He got verbally aggressive with me and shouted at me in front of the baby. He then threatened to take the baby to his parents with out me knowing full well how dependent she is on me. This verbal aggression has happened many times since we've had the baby and is really getting me down. I've now constantly got in the back of my mind that he will take the baby away from me without agreeing to it. He's also been drinking every night since baby has been here which I'm not comfortable with. He never helps around the house either. Has anyone else had these sort of problems because its really starting to get me down?. He can't seem to understand that my hormones are still all over the place and he is just making things worse.

Sorry to hear that Frantic , its no fun is it

Womens aid run something called The Freedom Programme , a rolling course which teaches you abusive behaviours , and better still , the warning signs of an abusive person .A book accompanys it which is called Living With The Dominater which is lighthearted in places but is fantastic.

I seriously think this should be taught in schools , so that young girls can spot it before it starts . They reckon if you ask the right questions its entireley possible to spot a potential abuser on a first date , which i think is possible .

One of the problems with abusers is they often create more abusers and more potential victims , kids who grow up to think it normal to abuse or be abused , it wants stamping out . In fact when i am queen of the world i will create a special army to round them all up and dispose of them accordingly

dignified And I will be one of your generals!

so will I

is there a uniform ?

Loulou, I still haven't got over this: He told me that the baby and him should be treated equal. wtf???!!!

You have my fullest sympathy. You must have been hoping for a happy little family and then found out you'd got a self-centered fuckwit instead. Quite apart from the idiocy of feeling his needs equal those of a newborn, a man who responds to your illness by having a go at you isn't exactly a life enhancement.

Stay at your mum's. Keep him out. Take care and good luck!

There is a uniform , im not sure what colour yet , but theres def miliatary boots for kicking them in their cocks .

I wish this crap would be highlighted on tv , properly .

I look good in red

ChaoticAngelofDenial volunteering for duty.

Loulou, you've got the opportunity to stand up to him at present, because you have a home you can ban him from. ANd you can also insist that his contact with the baby is supervised. The best possible thing you can do for your DD and yourself is tell him that you are sick of his behaviour and attitude, he is dumped and you don't want to see him until he's grown up and changed his ways.
If he wants to come back and be your partner, and a father to his DD, make him make an effort. Do NOT give in after a couple of whiny phone calls and a bunch of limp flowers from the petrol station. His behaviour was horrible, and he now has to earn your respect all over again.