Should I forgive my mum?

[OneDove]

Ok. Long story but ... parents divorced when I was 11. Mum quickly took up with (call him C) . I always felt uncomfortable around him. As I got older he essentially emotionally abused me and an element of sexual abuse went on from 14-17. They threw me out of home at 17. Since then after years of ignoring this abuse, once i became pregnant I issued an ultimatum to my mum. I can not have this man near my baby daughter due to what he did to me. Sadly my mum chose to remain in a relationship with C.
I now have another child after 4 years of no contact with my mum. My daughter is now asking who my mum is?
I feel guilty my mum missing out on grand parenting my beautiful children. But she is still with this abusive man. She chose him over me.
Do I try and build bridges with her or just continue excluding her from my beautiful children?
I still have difficulty understanding her choice as she knows what he did to me. Still she wants to be with him?!

Previously my sister at 14 told a teacher about the abuse and then my mum was informed. It all kicked off. My mum came to see me and asked if he had ever 'touched' me . Of course i told her yes he had. He left their house and my sister and I had to make statements to the police about what he did. My mum after a few weeks dropped the charges and took him back.
Twenty years later when had first baby, after confronting my mum and realising she didn't believe it. I contacted the police again. Weirdly they had a file on him regarding my sister and the abuse, but nothing about my statement.
I told my mum about this via e mail. I got a v long e mail back stating if I pressed charges I would be destroying her life and he was her 'rock'. She begged me not too. Suddenly then they moved from their retirement house and relocated to Scotland. I didn't pursue it any further.
I do wonder if I should have carried it on but I just feel sorry for her. I have had a lifetime of feeling like the 'bad' person (so he kept telling me) and was reluctant to continue doing that. Stupid I know.

It's not stupid, it's understandable. Sorry but I think your mum is manipulative and certainly neglectful if not abusive herself. I think you are doing the right thing in keeping her away from your children.

I know it's easy to say this from the outside looking in but if your mum has had such little regard for you and your sister you have no reason to regard her feelings when considering contacting the police again.

(sorry OP, just had to post and say LOVE your name AKiss

Humming but it's very nice, it's very very nice...

Sorry, gone a but doolally )