how to deal with Mum and sister constant fighting

[somanymiles]

My Mum and sister are constantly fighting. My sister is mid 30s. I just sent her a reminder about Mother's Day and she said she wasn't going to bother as it doesn't matter what she does, she will always be Mum's least favourite. I live overseas and a large portion of each phone call from each of them is spent with them complaining about the other. I love them both, but they just wind each other up all the time. It's driving me crazy. Any advice?

tell them both you are not interested and not listen to it. I think they are relying on you as a place to winge...don't let them drag you into it.

You can't make them best of friends but you can make them stop venting at you. Its really not fair!!

Again I agree with MigratingCoconuts. When they start venting at you tell them you don't want to be dragged into their arguements as they're not being fair on you. If necessary hang up on them if they won't stop.

at Chaotic!!

I wondered if I had written the op for a minute then!

My mum and sister aren't talking to each other, both blaming the other and my mums Xmas pressies for the grandkids are still sat in her garage! It's over silly things and they only live 5 mins from each other while I am 3-4 hours away!

I'm just letting them get on with it for now but might try and force things in the summer when I go down to visit... Try not to let it stress you too much!

Just wondering why the fuck you feel the need to remind a woman in her mid 30s about Mother's Day? Does she employ you as her social secretary?

I don't do mother's day for my mum.

It's because she's a psychotic bitch who regularly tried to attack me.

My sister who was hit several times and treated like shit says I'm a "bad daughter" for not doing it!!!

So I'm sorry, but I'm with your sister. Most adults don't argue with their parents for no reasons.

"Any advice?"

Yes..step back, tell them you don't want to hear it and leave them to it...being peacemaker/go between is a no win job...all it does is cause you stress and worry.

So don't be the go between and your stress will reduce.

If your sister misses mothers day...not your problem...and you won't hear about it as you've told them not to moan about each other to you.