Really need help please!!!!!

[anonymousmiss]

I have been with dp 6.5 years and we have 3 children together but the sex and intimacy between us is really really not good, im not sure what the problem is but i dread the thought of sex with him its causing problems for obvious resons he wants it - i dont! there is only so long we can go on like this, what do i do? I love hom alot and i find him very attractive still - i know if i was to just meet him i would still fancy him like mad - so what can be wrong it must be me, right??

[LittleBeck]

Of course it isn't your fault.

And it's pretty normal to get stuck in a rut sometimes, especially when you have 3 children - if you've been together for 6.5 years with 3 children, they must all be quite young still.

Could you start by working out why you don't want sex - is it something basic like being too tired, too distracted by knowing the kids are nearby, or boredom that you always end up doing exactly the same things?

Once you've established this, it will be easier to work out how to make changes.

[carly82]

i was with my xp for five years and we had two sons and i was in pretty similar situation apart from the fact that i no longer fancied him. i didnt want sex with him any longer, it wasnt that i didnt love him i think our relationship had just run its course. i tried every excuse like the reason i didnt want sex was i had a small baby and wasnt back to normal but i know now that was so far from the truth. have you talked to your dh about this? its good that you still lust after him after this long can you think of any reason why you feel like this?

[carly82]

i was with my xp for five years and we had two sons and i was in pretty similar situation apart from the fact that i no longer fancied him. i didnt want sex with him any longer, it wasnt that i didnt love him i think our relationship had just run its course. i tried every excuse like the reason i didnt want sex was i had a small baby and wasnt back to normal but i know now that was so far from the truth. have you talked to your dh about this? its good that you still lust after him after this long can you think of any reason why you feel like this?

[crystaltips]

Totally totally normal ... have an evening out together .. chat about it if you can ... but more to the point just spend some time together.

This happened to me a while agao ... jokingly told DP that he was NOT onto a promise unless he "pressed my cerebral buttons" first ..

Worked !!!

[anonymousmiss]

Thanks littlebeck to be honest i know its sounds bizarre but i feel abit embarrassed and really really self conscious about it all, it obviously is a mood killer but i really dont know how to overcome it i have told dp how i feel but he just laughs and says im being daft.....

[anonymousmiss]

He has asked me 'things' i like, hoping to add some new stuff to spice things up i suppose, but i feel silly talking about it as he makes me feel abit like im have sex ed at school or something! why am i so embarrassed by sex im 26 FGS!

[muma3]

OMG i have at last found somebody with the same problem . i thought it was just me . i really dont want sex either and it is nothing to do with my partner i love him to bits and find him extremely sexy. i have 3 kids, youngest being 5 months but i have been like this before and dont think it is anything to do with having my baby either . if there is any one with some answers share with me too PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[anonymousmiss]

Oh im so pleased its not just me muma3! i feel like im broken or something, and dp is so good about it but im not sure how long we can or should go on like this! my kids are 5, 2 and nearly 2 months, i feel like i should be some randy sex freak or something but im just not!...