Help! Do I tell her or keep my nose out?

[nkups]

I was invited to a partylite party last night and invited another friend along.

She said she couldn't come as her dp was playing pool as he does most Tuesdays.

As I was walking to the party (at around 7.50pm) I saw her dp's car parked in a cul de sac. As I was coming home, at around 10.45pm his car was still there and then I saw him coming out of a house in the next road along from where his car was parked. There was a woman in the doorway and they kissed goodbye, just a peck but on the mouth.

Obviously I don't know for sure whether he is cheating on my friend but it looked that way.

I don't know whether to tell her or even how to find the words.

They have only been together just over a year but live together and it all seemed to be going so well for her.

Do they have an open relationship ? Could it have been a relative ?

Was it definitely him ? Was it definitely his car ?

If you are ' definite ' about these two questions, and she told you he was playing pool, then I would maybe talk to your friend and say something like ' oh you should have come along last night, it was really good fun etc, where was so and so again ? ( her dp )

If she says at pool, then I would say something like, funny im sure i saw him at so and so road etc ???

Definitely not an open relationship.
She has waited so long to find someone and has finally seemed happy.
It all happened really fast for them but it seemed right.

It was 100% him and 100% his car. I only saw a peck but it looked intimate, not like you'd kiss your mum or another relative. And why was his car parked around the corner from where he actually was?

Her fb status today says she enjoyed catching up on girly tv whilst her dp was at pool.

How can I tell her he wasn't at pool? I don't want to hurt her

Wish I hadn't seen anything

You will get replies split about 50/50 (MN's usual form on this).

I would tell her. I would say exactly what you saw. I would want to know in her position and would thank, not blame, the messanger.

If he's cheating on her this soon into a relationship he's not the bloke you want your mate with is he :(

Tell him what you saw. Ask him to tell her or it puts you in a tricky position. He will tell her. And if he is deceiving her, it's good she finds out now not in three years.

Thanks. I don't have his number but will try to get it, he is self employed so hopefully it is in the phone book. Don't want to have to ask around for it.

I suppose one explanation for his car being there would be if he drove to a mate's house and then he and his mate went in his mate's car to play pool. But that doesn't explain the kiss, does it?

If he is up to no good, he's either stupid saying he's playing pool or he's bribed all the other pool players to cover for him.

I would tell.

If my friends saw my dh do this and said nothing, they would no longer be friends.

I would find out what pool team he was on and check the fixtures, if its a pool league, there are usually results for each game either on line, or in the local paper.

I would just tell her what you saw without trying to deduce anything from it. Just the truth: I don't know what to think about this, but I saw your DP last night... Then answer her questions as honestly as possible.

It's up to her to ask him for an explanation if she feels it necessary. Hopefully she'll say, Oh yeah, he said he was stopping by his cousin Marge's place on the way back from pool. Then you can laugh and say you're relieved, and all is well.

I wouldn't tell him first. He's not your friend, she is. He might be having an affair, which makes him a liar. You don't know what he'll say or how he'll spin it. And this all could be completely innocent, in which case you'd feel like an idiot for trying to get him to 'come clean'!

nkups - did you tell your friend or call her DP? If you did how did it go?