DH doesn't want sex anymore after baby

[Athrawes]

My DH is very very dear, a good man, loving and kind and fun and the love of my life, as I am sure am I to him. DS is now eight months and we have had sex four times! It was a fairly traumatic birth and DH says he knows where babies come from, that my boobs aren't available anymore (very leaky! But he is totally supportive of my BFing). I am sad, we have talked, the days seem so groundhog - baby baby baby then eventually bed!
Will it get better. We used to be really good at it.

If he was at the birth, its probably still quite fresh in his mind, and he is scared of hurting you.

As you say, he sounds a very nice and considerate man, who has a lot of respect for you. Eight months is still quite early days, and I know a lot of my friends who were not really in the mood at all until their baby was about a year old.

It will pick up again in time I am sure.

I wouldn't worry about it - our DS is seven months old and we've had it...zero times.

Takes time to get back into it - but it'll happen (i think...!)

My first baby was v big and I had an episiotomy and extensive tearing.

My dh was encouraged to go down the business end during the birth, which he found very unpleasant during all the cutting/tearing.

He was then invited to go back down after my 1.5 hours of stitching to have a look at my patchwork quilt fanny, which looked somewhat ruined!

He was very honest with me and told me it put him off sex for several weeks! (In fact it was 10 weeks before we did the deed.) He found it very difficult to get the images of it out of his head, and whilst I appreciated his candour, I was pretty upset at the time.

I'm pleased to say we got back on track quite quickly, and for the next birth he stayed up the prettier end.

I wish he had not been made to go down there but I was having a horrid time and he was so supportive of me, telling me what was happening. I too had epi, cuts and stitches. I hold out hope we will be OK in the long run but wobble when friends are already pregnant again - not because I want another, no way - but because they must be doing IT!

Speaking as a man (because I am one), it is very difficult to get over having seen the 'business end' of your wife giving birth, it looks like she would never want anything to go near her again!

After the birth of our first, I stayed at the more 'user friendly' end for our other childrens deliveries as it took some time for us to get back to IT after my first time experiences!

Some men apparently also have a problem when you move from lover to mother and they have to share you, this didn't affect me but it still took a good 6 months before I felt able to make love to my wife again after our first.

So, in short, yep, it will get better! ;)