How am gonna make it

[ItLookHardToStartNewLife]

name changed...

My husband had an affair for past few months, I found out, he stopped.
I ask him to move out, after 1 month we decided to try let it work (we have two children 1y and 4y)
He promised not to contact the person any more, after 3 weeks I found out that he add her as a friend on facebook, at first he lied that's someone else , but I know it was "her".
We didn't talk for 1 week. then 1 night he said he is moving out.
He packed all his staff, said that he will pay some money to support children, but he will never stay in contact with them because it would make him feel pity for his children and would come back...therefore he will not see them.
He left us for his single man life and clubbing.
Am devastated, not strong to pray for our marriage to be saved,..how am gonna explain my 4y old that she will never ever see her daddy again!??
And tomorrow is my youngest one first b'day!

I don't know how am gonna make it!??

Eggs, flour, a pinch of salt, 300g self-raising flour...

what are you trying to achieve?

I don't know

UA

Why won't she see her father again OP? What has he said to you?

Do you think he has walked away from you and the DC?

Wasn't being flippant, I posted before your second post.

My first thought is, what a complete and utter bastard. Do you have friends and family nearby to rally?

You need to make a CSA claim and start looking at tax credits you can claim. CAB can help you here. Or go to entitledto.com for some guide.

Whose name is the house/tenancy in? You must been terrible but you can get some control over what is happening here. Make an appointment to see a solicitor pronto.

How long have you been married?

I doubt he will want no contact with the children. But if he really doesn't then you are much better off without such a loser anyway. He sounds an utterly selfish, immature idiot.

Hang in there. More will be along to support you soon. Keep posting and remember you have the most precious things in the world - your lovely children.

be feeling* terrible.

I was ing at your post before I read OPs second post too UA - sorry OP.

Mouseface: yeah, he refuse to see his children, cos if he would see them he would get "soft" and come back..

Unlikely: he said he will pay me some money (around £250 I think)
house is mortgaged, am self employed but to stressd to work now
I just feel so sorry for my DD's, oldest one is saying that she didn't see daddy for a week, where is he? am making stories that he is too busy at work, can't tell her th truth, not yet
and tomorrow dd2 1st b'day and on friday should be our 6th marriage aniversary

Sweetheart, you need some RL support too. Can you talk to your mum? Sister or close friend?

Can you give us anymore details? Why he left? What he has said to you about the house?

So sorry you are going through this

I can't even tell my parents after all what happened and they live miles away
I got support from 2 close friends, but they have their own troubles too..

He left cos am "too controlling" I don't let him go clubbing and coming back when ever he wants (he goes almost every weekend till 5am), he needs to tell me if he goes out...I don't need any exact details, but at least am going to X and I ll be back home much late cos X, but he want it that he goes in and out of house as ever he wants, with no questions from me, I have nothing to say who his friends are - as he wants to continue "friendship" with OW and all other exes...

Hugs OP.

He can't refuse to see the kids for his own selfish reasons ie. that it would be too painful for him -the selfish bastard. What about the kids?

Don't let him away with that OP.

If he's been going clubbing, has he been using drugs? Could explain a lot. Ie; how he can be so callous and selfish

OP

Please don't let him treat you like this.

He has no respect for you.

He's living the life of a single man with no thoughts of how that is making you feel.

You're not controlling, you are supposed to be his partner and have E ERY right to know where he's going to be until 5am.

What a horrible man. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Have you tried talking to him at all?

NewPathways: am not gonna beg him to see his children, he made his decision and I think that if I "ask" him to see his children, he will think that am trying get him back..?
I wouldn't say, he is or was taking any drugs

Is just we are both in our early 30y, he does part time study (university), therefore 99% single male and female in their 20y....also H "best friend" which is living similar live as my H wish to have and his long term partner accept it (or have no say..)...
There is to much influence and bad advice to my H, he feel under stress, gets confused and outcome is what he did

I will wait if he at least call tomorrow or come around, cos of dd2 1st b'day

This sounds like a horrible situation for you ItLook

He really is having the best of both worlds isn't he? And you are letting him to some degree.

Why does HE get to go out clubbing until all hours doing whathe pleases?

Surely you have a need to have some downtime too? How selfish of him.

How many of your children are his if you don't mind me asking?

Do you think he'll bother to turn up for the birthday tomorrow?

This guy really needs a reality check.

he goes out because he wants to hang around with his friends..??
am just to stupid and too good for him, everytime "jumping" around him just to please him, but never is noting good enough

I have 2 children, both girls are ours 1y and 4y

I think he will NOT turn up...he might come or call end of the week.? am just so confused and really doesn't know what to expect from him anymore.

yeah and he changed is status an FB from "married" to "in relationship"...he might got someone else already Idiot!

Yeah IDIOT just called and said that dd2 is having b'day tomorrow if he can come...he start saying what time he finish at work and he will be able make it much later blabla...I said am not interested what time he finish at work and he should come at X time before dd2 bathtime and night routine.
Am honestly surprise that he called and asking to come

I don't know how tomorrow if "pretend" that we are happy family on front of children or just shut my self in my bedroom and let him cope with our children on his own?

Where are you from 'ItLook* ? It doesnt sound like english is your first language. Is this right?

Get on a plane and go home, if possible. For a break if nothing else. Do you have family to support you?

You H has left the family home and if you think it will be detrimental to your dcs to allow him to suddenly return tomorrow and then leave again, then stick to the facts in any text back to him. Something like: "I am concerned about the childrens welfare and would prefer you do not visit tomorrow as they are confused and upset. I am seeing a solicitor at 2pm."

Why are you letting him come back? Have you been unreasonable?

Facebook is so bloody dangerous. I deactivated the day my Ex-boyfriend sent me a friend request.

no, english isn't my frist language, is that OK?
I cant go back home, dd1 needs to go to school and I have to run my business

no way, am not letting him back, am letting him to come see his daughters (cos of the b'day)