Families. They f**k you up by Oliver James

[Rainbowdropping]

Bloody hell, only 4 chapters in and it's a revalation.

I have so much hurt about my childhood and this book is helping me work out why in real terms and that it isn't just because I was always 'the over sensitive on'

Amazing book

Only 4 chapters in but I can now see that My personality and issues aren't 'genetic'.

What I am and how I feel is a product of my upbringing, I have a role which has been given to me by my parents which I stupidly keep on playing it out.

Really hard to explain without going into loads of personal detail. it's written in a way that helps you relate to your own situation and makes you realise you aren't the labels which are applied to you.

Give it a whirl, it's opening my eyes!

Hopefully will also help me not fuck up my own darling dcs!

Sorry, I didnt answer your question! Each chapter does have exercises you can try to explore the point he's making and help you see things in a different light.

You've hit the nail on the head there! It really does explain why you look for certain things in relationships.

Really simplistically I've realised I look fir relationships (friends, work, partners etc) which give me the affection, love and emotional support my childhood lacked. I can't deal with confrontation or criticism because there were always huge ramifications if I said (or say even now) what I think or feel if it deviates from the family norm.