What do you do when the Ex wont listen?

[Skifit]

. . .to the needs you are requesting for your Ds.??
I am banging my head against a brick wall.
I know there are no solutions, but its still so infuriating that now matter how many times i ask for the sake of 10 yr old DS when he goes to stay with DAD, he doesnt oblige.
He never:-
Gets him to bed on time.
Brushes his teeth regularly
Washes his hair
Makes him do his homework
Stops taking him to the Pub.

Gggrrhhh !

Can I share this with anyone ? ? ?

How do you know all this happens?

there is nothing you can do!

at least he is showing an interest / having contact / spending time with his son.

have you asked him nicely if he will help with homework (rather than 'making' him do it)

you say he NEVER stops taking him to the pub, thats an exaggeration surely?

must ...... relinquish..... control!

is the 'how do you know' directed at me? if so, i know because things come up in conversation sometimes with ds1, and because in the past I have rung his dad to ask why he's been allowed to do something, and there's been a row over it.

or if ds1 comes home exhausted and throwing up, i would phone to ask what had gone wrong, and be told 'we went to a party and didn't get home til 11pm and he probably ate sweets all night'.

other times i know because his dad tells me in conversation, like he might mention a tv programme they'd watched which would make it obvious ds1 had stayed up past bedtime. these are minor issues on their own, but when added up, and when continual, it can get rather wearing. as i said earlier on in the thread, i don't bother arguing about these things anymore, but can sympathise with the OP as to how frustrating it is.

My son tells me what happens at weekends.
Some details are obviously slightly wrong. But the usual remarks are:
We went to the pub and i got to bed at 10.30pm.
(bed here is 8.30pm)
I went out to play on the common and we were ice skating over a pond/puddle. Daddy was back at the house.
I fell asleep on Freds bed in my clothes after the pub.
I havnt brushed my teeth since fri night.