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Original poster

Personal Space/Body Language ?

49 replies

milkykid · 21/03/2011 14:13

What do tou make of this body Language ?

Male; right arm around female, pint in left hand holding up towards the camera.

Female; chest turned in toward Male, head turned to face camera.

Touching or almost touching bodies.

OP posts:
dittany · 21/03/2011 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aislingorla · 21/03/2011 15:26

Agree with dittany. And the ''he stayed out drinking with her...'' is a slippery slope. I know, I was there. It's how my husband's affair started!

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 15:27

Nothings happening Dittany - I need to get over that !

But yes that is the reason I am over sensitive about this photo, and probably why he told her to remove it......

OP posts:
dittany · 21/03/2011 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 15:39

No he is not telling me. He is always reassuring and kind. I am a Loon.

Dittany, that was 6 months ago, he hasnt stayed out late or with her since then.

The other day there were lots of them all together, all male apart from her.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 15:42

The photo is still pissing me off though.

Mainly because I havent met her. Dp has loads of photos with other female friends on nights out, arms around each other, but I know these friends too, so it doesnt bother me. He goes running with one of them in the week, doesnt bother me.

OP posts:
Reality · 21/03/2011 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 15:57

"he stayed out late drinking with just her, I was at home with young baby and rightfully"

right ok, at last we get the full picture

I would be pissed off about that too. This is what it's really about isn't it ?

Your P is carrying on like a single man while you are left holding the baby. I would be putting him straight about that, tbh

Don't be a doormat, it would chew you up. As evidenced by his thread.

He is being a twat also, by elling her that you would be "upset" by the photo. Effectively, giving others the idea that you are paranoid. he may even have a little giggle about it with ohers in a "What's a man to do?" kinda way Hmm

the trouble is, while you play the martyr and let him carry on his footloose life, you are colluding in it and playing right into the "boring and paranoid wifey" role

tell him it stops right now...or he knows where he door is

JessicaDrew · 21/03/2011 16:01

Peter i think your blood pressure is running too high again!!!!!

PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 16:01

are you offering to lower it (again) JD ?

madonnawhore · 21/03/2011 16:02

I agree with PAforPM.

Also, I agree with the poster who said it's obvious she fancies him. I think it is too.

Listen to your intuition - there's a reason why this girl bothers you in particular and not any of his other female friends.

JessicaDrew · 21/03/2011 16:03

oooher missus Blush
personally i think she should reduce his pocket money so he can't go out as oftenSmile

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 16:07

Pete - that was ages ago, they havent been out drinking together alone, only a couple after work with other people aswell.

Just this photo has peeved me, its the way I would stand with dp if we were outside in the cold with him.....

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 16:17

it's not just the photo though, is it ?

just a photo, or just a hug wouldn't bother you enough to ask strangers for their opinion

and he does still go out drinking with her...do you ever get invited too ?

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 16:25

No, we work 15 miles away from each other. He went straight from work.

What do i need to say ?

I trust him, but not her ?

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 16:32

No, you can't say that

you either trust your partner or you don't

Are you saying he would be powerless to resist her advances, if she made any ?

that she could "steal" him away from you ?

What do you want to happen ? You need to be clear about that first, and you don't sound very clear at all, IMO

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 16:41

I want her to PISS OFF !

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 16:51

well, that isn't in your power, I am afraid

I will kill her for an appropriate fee, if you wish ? Grin

seriously, if it is bothering you this much, you need to talk to DP about how much time he is spending in her company and tell him to knock it on the head if he values your relationship

if he is a good guy, he will curb the "drinks after work with woman who fancies him" even if it is with a group (whose word do you have for that, btw?)

if he throws a strop, I would question why he is prioritising a friendship wih her over your peace of mind

PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 16:52

do you not trust him to respond to any signals she may make ?

PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 16:52

I mean to not respond

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 17:00

be back later, leaving work to pick up kids ( hah work ! )

OP posts:
QueeferSutherland · 21/03/2011 18:07

The fact that the pic is not staged would ring alarm bells for me.

However if they were at it, they would be more discrete non?

It's still inappropriate.

Original poster
milkykid · 21/03/2011 18:29

I spoke to him on the phone earlier, I told him the photo was still bugging me, and I feel like im being a Loon, but I have a problem with this one person and why ?

He said there is nothing going on. He said he doesnt think she fancies him either.

I asked if he had spoken to her and he hadnt seen her since last thursday.

I said is she having a dig at me and he said it could be !!!! but he didnt know ? WTF ?!

We had a row on thursday evening, i wondered if she had heard.....

He is out till later so I cant speak to him tonight.

Basically is it unfair of me to ask him to have nothing to do with her anymore ? Even though they are just friends.... ?

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 21/03/2011 19:17

he has admitted she could be having a dig at you ?

that is no way normal....why would she have any reason to do that ?

is your bloke exceptionally thick ?

or is he a manipulative game-player trying to set two women off against each other ?

I hope for your sake he is just very stupid, because I don't like the sound of him

ok, I will tell you what I would do in this situation

I would tell him you will not be made a fool of, by her nor by him. If his "friendship" with her is more important than your good opinion of him, then he can fuck right off.

That is what I would do.

Not many people would though.

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