I'm afraid to leave my wife

[Mike719]

This is my first post here and perhaps I'm in the wrong place, as I'm a dad, but I thought I might give it a go.

My wife and I have been married for seven years and have a two year old son. I love him tremendously and am lucky enough to have him to myself one day a week. I share parental duties with my wife, which I think bothers her, as she would prefer to be the primary carer.

Regardless, our marital relationship has reached the point of no return - I think. We no longer get along and frankly, if we were to meet today, I don't think we'd connect. We fight and squabble constantly, often in front of our son which pains us both.

I've been faithful and I think she has as well. We just no longer seem to love one another. At least we certainly don't act like it. In fact we make each other miserable and can't spend time together without fighting.

We have tried counseling but it has only proven to be a temporary fix.

I don't know what to do. I think the best thing would be for us to separate, but I cannot stand the thought of being away from my son, or the idea of him growing up without his mother.

Perhaps this has all been covered elsewhere, but if anyone has advice please let me know

Don't let her guilt you into giving custody just because you leave, or settlement for that matter. I think fourforty makes a very valid point

Good to see that you are both thinking of the children. HOpe that u eventually find the right balance

Nothing to add but sympathy, Mike719. The situation you are in can feel so very lonely. I hope it helps to know others are struggling with this. I hope you and your wife can move on constructively. Small children are hugely stressful and like any big life event can show up the cracks in a relationship.
Best of luck, whatever you decide.

well for me the yardstick is 'do you like each other and are you best friends'?? if you arnt then its over isnt it??

who cares what other people think, its what you and your wife think isnt it???

please dont stick together for the sake of your ds.. my parents did just that and argued all of the time.. still do.. and its awful for the child.
but I think you are going anyway arnt you and your wife wants out as well.. get legal advice both of you and hopefully you can both find the right person to be happy with..

did you say whether you still admire and respect your DW? That is the acid test.?

thebody 'well for me the yardstick is 'do you like each other and are you best friends'?? if you arnt then its over isnt it??'

I thought many relationships go through tough periods where this is not the case , that you 'like' or 'are best friends'. Surely, most marriages/relationships would end if this was the case rather than trying to work through it. Have been there recently and have reached a better (if not ideal) place and have no idea if our new found 'more' togetherness will last the test of time.

OP - sounds like there might be something to be gained still by trying more or more counseling. sounds obvious but best if you both feel you have tried 'everything' before you split.

do you not think endless squabbling in front of your child is more unkind? plus this loveless relationship will be his main example of what a relationship should be like.

You know it's over, and by the sounds of it I think she does too. Now it's a case of one of you has to be strong enough to say it.

It's hard, but plodding along the way you are isnt good for any of you.

Take note in some of the suggestions made in this tread, and I hope one of you finds the strength to end it now.